Calvin and Hobbes Fanon Wiki
Things Never Change
Season 1, Episode 1
Written by Bill Watterson
Directed by Peter Jackson
Episode guide
"Carnivore Carnival"

Things Never Change is the first episode of Calvin and Hobbes: The Animated Series


Calvin gets into an unfortunate incident in the woods.


Calvin comes upon a suspicious pile of leaves in the woods. Investigating, he is yanked by invisible wires into a preset booby trap, meant to capture loose tigers.

Dangling from the nearby tree, he reaches into his mess kit for a can of tuna, prying it open with a handy can opener. Hobbes soon arrives, takes the tuna and prepares a tuna salad sandwich, leaving Calvin suspended above.

Calvin next retrieves another can of tuna but this time hides the opener. Hobbes approaches and starts to pat down Calvin's body. Calvin takes the opportunity to quickly ensnare Hobbes in the tangle of invisible wires, while extricating himself using the can opener to sever any of the wires that still hold himself. Releasing Hobbes as well, they share the remaining tuna and reset the trap in readiness for whom they telepathically seem to agree is the next victim: Susie.

Just as they're finishing off their last sandwich, Calvin is tipped off to her approach by the growing Susie stench. Hobbes pulls him back into the bushes, out of sight.

Susie arrives on her way home from school, carrying the leftover macaroons from her classroom party. She immediately senses something amiss. Circling the area of disrupted leaves, she surveys the area around them and nudges a few around with her toe. Then she steps further in and is whipped high up into the tree branches; Calvin and Hobbes made some refinements to the trap.

Screaming, Susie struggles to release the wires, which only tighten with each jerk. She yells to Calvin, whose striped shirt is visible just beyond the bushes. She shakes her one free fist at him and the macaroons fly down to Hobbes, who is ready with his baseball mitt. Calvin and Hobbes escape with the macaroons with Susie screaming for help. Once in the backyard, Calvin and Hobbes eat the macaroons, until Calvin's mother stops them. Calvin's mother and Susie state that "things never change."


For a full transcript of Things Never Change, click here.

= Cast