Claw and Order Transcript

Scene 1: The Murder
Narrator: In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important, and strange groups. The detectives, consisting of a six year old boy and a tiger, who make the attempt to investigate the crime, and the District Attorney's, consisting of a guy who always wants to build character, and the next door neighbor of one of the detectives who he absolutely despises. These are their stories.

18th National Bank, June 12th.

Rosalyn (Bank teller): Welcome to the 18th National Bank, are you making a withdrawal or a deposit?

Moe (Robber): Oh I don't know, (Pulls out gun) Give me all you got.

(Rosalyn panics, and presses the emergency button, and sirens start blaring)

Moe: Of course... (Bolts off)

(Security guards attempt to get Moe, but run into each other, and Moe manages to sneak into the back and gets to the big vault. He throws a bomb and destroys the door of the vault)

Moe: Alright! Big payday for me!

(Just as Moe finishes getting all the money and starts to leave, Rosalyn comes back in)

Rosalyn: STOP! DON'T MOVE!

(Moe throws a smoke grenade and vanishes)

(Once the smoke has cleared, two guards enter the vault room)

Guard 1: Sheesh, that guy sure got away with a lot.

Guard 2: Yeah he sure did-(Sees Rosalyn lying unconscious on the ground, he checks her pulse) Crud! No pulse! Quick, call 911!

(A police car arrives, and Senior Detective Hobbes comes out of it)

Officer: Ah good detective you're here.

Hobbes: Give me a rundown.

Officer: So some guy came to the bank, and went up to a teller demanding money, the teller set off the emergency alarm, and during the chaos, he managed to sneak into the vault.

Hobbes: Nobody could stop them?

Officer: A couple of guards attempted to, but they ran into each other.

Hobbes: So basically the bank is being guarded by a bunch of incompetent cartoon characters?

Officer: Call it what you may. And so the same teller tried to stop him and he threw a smoke grenade to escape, and then two guards came after the smoke cleared and found the teller dead. They think it was from smoke installation from the grenade.

Hobbes: Seems like the most logical cause of death...

?: Hey! Outta my way idiots! I got a .49 on me and I'm not afraid to use it!

Hobbes: Who was that??

(A kid in a trench coat and fedora comes up to Hobbes)

Calvin: Greetings, name's Bullet, Tracer Bullet. I was assigned to assist you while your other partner is out.

Hobbes: Oh yeah, I've heard a lot about you...

Calvin: Hey, don't listen to the papers! Lets just get down to the chase shall we? So what are we dealing with, breaking and entering gone wrong?

(Hobbes sighs, cuts to the theme)

Claw

Starring Tom Kenny...

Owen Wilson...

Scarlett Johansson...

Order

Starring Paul Rudd...

Jennifer Lawrence...

and Tom Cruise...

Claw and Order

Created by Bill Watterson