The Colorado Catastrophe Transcript

Scene 1
(Calvin and Zoe enter Calvin's room)

Calvin:I got a part in the class play!

Hobbes:Again? The last time you did that,you got stuck in your costume.

Zoe:This one is on Colorado History. I got the part of Cora Spondent,a news reporter. I get to interview Jim Beckwourth!

Calvin:Which is me!

Hobbes:You got Jim Beckwourth?

Calvin:Right. But we need costumes. And I know the perfect place to get them.

Zoe:Dollar Tree?

Hobbes:Target?

Calvin:BLEEP! Incorrect. (pulls out Time Machine) 1859!

Hobbes:No matter what,I am not getting in that box.

Calvin:Everyone else is coming. Let's go pick up Andy!

(They pick up Andy,Socrates,and Susie.)

Andy:So,what's the plan?

Hobbes:Calvin needs costumes for the play.

Zoe:I've got my costume. So we don't need mine. Andy,what did you get?

Andy:I'm Kit Carson.

Susie:I'm a passerby. Passerby 3,in scene 5,Gold Rush. We've got a cool rap song.

Calvin:A RAP SONG! COOL!

Susie:The fun part is,we get to put on sunglasses!

Socrates:Can we please get down to business?

Calvin:Oh,right. 1859,here we come.

Scene 2
(The time machine comes out of the vortex.)

Calvin:Huh. This isn't the way I pictured 1859 at all. It's all traintracks.

Hobbes:Maybe the traintracks lead to somewhere.

Socrates:Yeah,I agree.

Susie:Then what's that noise?

Andy:And why are the buffalo and deer scattering in fright?

Calvin:Dunno. I gotta get used to old timey crap.

Hobbes(looking behind him):Uhh...Calvin? You might wanna go faster.

Calvin:Why?(Sees the Iron Horse) Oh,that.

Everyone:AAAAHHHH!!!!

Andy:Go faster!

Calvin:I'm trying!

Susie:It's getting closer!

(The time machine gets hit)

Everyone:WWWHHHOOOAAA!!!

(They crash land)

Engineer:Everything's all right!

Calvin:DROP DEAD,PALAMENO!

Hobbes:We're doomed. There's no way we can get home.

Andy:Look! A town!

Socrates:Good one,Andy.

Andy:No,look!

(We see a small town)

Scene 3
(The gang hides behind a general store.)

Calvin:Look! Four weird guys with long beards and arrows!

Susie:They're mountain men,Calvin.

Calvin:What if one of them is Jim Beckwourth?

Andy:Or Kit Carson?

Hobbes:Probably.

Calvin:I'm going to see them.

Socrates:Calvin,don't! They're singing!

Mountain Men(singing):Mountain Men,Mountain Men,they explored the old wild west!

Calvin:Hi!

Jedediah Smith:HEY! You ruined our song!

Jim Bridger:Jed,control your anger,dude.

Smith:Where's the army general?

Kit Carson:First off,my name is Kit Carson. Second,I was a scout in the Army.

Smith:Whatever. Can you shoot this kid

Jim Beckwourth:You can't! He might be friendly.

Smith:Says you,African-Native American!(pulls out his gun)Get ready to die kid!

Calvin:STOP! I NEED HELP!

Beckwourth:See,he needs help. I told you he was friendly.

Smith:Shut up,Beckwourth.

Carson:C'mon kid,let's go to our place and show you around.

Calvin:Give me a minute.