School of Calvin Transcript

Scene 1: The Contest
(Episode starts in Miss Wormwood's classroom)

Miss Wormwood: Alright class, before we dismiss for lunch, I want to let everyone know that if you are interested, to put a slip in for the Principal for a day contest. Its not mandatory, but I highly recommend you do it just for the fun of it.

Calvin: What's in for us?

Miss Wormwood: Uh... I'm not sure honestly...

Calvin: For someone who's probably been here since the start of the 20th century, that's pretty pathetic.

Susie: This school didn't even EXIST at the start of the 20th century Calvin!

Calvin: Okay fine, since whenever this asylum was built!

Miss Wormwood: (Sighs) Five more years until retirement...

(Cut to Principal Spittle's office.)

Principal Spittle: I can't believe I'm doing this... What if Calvin wins? It'll be just like the time he became school president!

(Cut to the Grayson's house. Hobbes is reading a comic book. Calvin enters.)

Hobbes: Hey, Calvin. What's new?

Calvin: My school is holding this dumb Principal For A Day contest. After what happened with the school president fiasco, I don't think I want to do that again.

Hobbes: Yeah, but I disagree.

Calvin: Why?

Hobbes: Most kids use their own rules to be Principal for the Day. But what would happen if Susie won?

Calvin: I can see it now. Extra homework for everybody... Yeach! I won't stand for this! I gotta win this! That way, I can slowly but surely, build an army to take over other schools and make an entire unified school, that will eventually get me appointed to the Head of the Department of Education, and then take over the world! BWAHAHAHA!

Hobbes: That's a little far-fetched isn't it?

Calvin: Aren't all my plans for world domination far-fetched anyways?

Hobbes: True that...

Calvin: My point, exactly. Alright, here's what I need you to do. First, I need you to make 200 copies of the ballot. (Hands Hobbes ballot)

Hobbes: Alright, anything else?

Calvin: And after that, I need you to print out fake airplane tickets to the Bahamas.

Hobbes: For who?

Calvin: For the entire faculty. That way, nobody will get in my way, and my plan will go smoothly!

Hobbes: Didn't you do that last time for the teachers and ended up failing horribly?

Calvin: Relax, this time it's more believable since it's for a cheaper airline, so hopefully those dumbos will fall for it!

Hobbes: One can only hope I suppose...

Calvin: Now if you excuse me, I gotta start ordering security guards, construction workers, coke freestyle machines, etc, etc.

(Cuts to the next day, Calvin slips the ballots into the box, and goes to class, Principal Spittle comes to grab the box and takes it to his audience)

Principal Spittle: Alright, let's see who wins this thing... (Grabs intercom) Alright teachers and students, the moment you've all been waiting for! The winner of this year's Principal for a Day contest is... CALVIN?!

(Everyone in Calvin's classroom gasps)

Calvin: (Grabs walkie-talkie): Principal for a Day is a-go

(Shows several cars, trucks, etc surrounding the school)

Principal Spittle: How... how... HOW?!

(Calvin busts open the door to his office, with two security guards in tow)

Calvin: I believe I won, so clear out your desk...

Principal Spittle: (Groans) I hate my job...

Scene 2: The Tyrannical Takeover
(Cuts to the next day, Calvin is reading comic books in the office) Calvin: Man, this sure is the life! I don't have to do any work, and I get to micromanage and control what everyone is being taught! Classes are a lot more interesting when I have total control of the curiculum! (Cuts to Miss Wormwood's classroom) Miss Wormwood: (Wearily) And that's how Chef Boyardee became our first President....