Providence Nights: The Ballad of Calvin Transcript

Scene 1: The sign-ups
(Episode starts with Calvin and Hobbes walking through the park)

Calvin: Ugh...what a boring day. I wish there was something to do.

Hobbes: Sundays are always boring for you.

Calvin: Exactly. I know I have to go to school tomorrow.

Hobbes: You have any money?

Calvin: Nope.

Hobbes: Wanna play Calvinball?

Calvin: Nope.

Hobbes: Do you at least want to watch TV?

Calvin: There's nothing good on.

(Moe runs past them)

Calvin: Moe, why are you running?

Moe: Haven't you heard? The sign-ups for Providence Nights are up! Calvin: Huh?

Moe: You are dumb. Providence Nights is the annual go-cart race.

Calvin: Not interested.

Moe: The prize is 5000 dollars.

(Dollar signs appear in Calvin's eyes.)

Hobbes: Oh no....

Moe: Wanna sign up?

Calvin: HECK YEAH! I'll do anything for money!

(Calvin runs off. Cut to a sign-up stand.)

Announcer: Keep it coming! You want the 5000 dollar grand prize, do you?

(Calvin gets to the front.)

Announcer: Alright, young man. Put your name down here, and you're in.

Calvin: Deal.

(Calvin writes his name down. The announcer picks up the clipboard.)

Announcer: Calvin the Bold. That's quite a name...

Scene 2: The junk-yard
(Calvin and Hobbes run across town with the wagon.)

Hobbes: You need a go-cart. Where are we going?

Calvin: The junkyard! They probably have old busted cars Dad could fix.

Hobbes: But even if you manage to find any, do you think you could make it into a functioning go-cart?

Calvin: Of course I can! It's not that hard to build a go-cart Hobbes!

Hobbes: Actually it is...

Calvin: Look, you moping isn't gonna help us at all, so be useful and help me find parts.

Hobbes: Well, that's easy. I found some brakes.

Calvin: Load em' up!

(Shows Calvin and Hobbes going through the junk-yard and getting parts)

(Shows Calvin loading the parts into the wagon)

Calvin: Alright, I think that's all we'll need.

Hobbes: If you say so, but I doubt that it will.

Calvin: Oh shut up, you'll see.

Scene 3: The Calvinmobile
(Shows Calvin and Hobbes working on various parts of the cart.)

Calvin: Alright Hobbes, ready to see the grand unveiling?

Hobbes: I guess so...

Calvin: Introducing the greatest go-cart ever created, The Calvinmobile!

(Calvin pulls off the drape to reveal a giant cart that has a mesh of Calvin's face at the front, though its pretty bad)

Hobbes: What is that... that... monstrosity?

Calvin: Monstrosity?! Cmon furball! I wanted to make a cart in my own likeness!

Hobbes: Does it even work?

Calvin: Yes! I'll show you!

(Calvin hops in the cart and starts it up, but implodes when he tries to move it)

Hobbes: Hey, it actually looks better now!

Calvin: Shut up fleabag! Now we're back to square one...

(Shows a montage of Calvin and Hobbes getting more parts and working closer together on it)

Calvin: Behold! The Calvinmobile! Mach 2!

(Calvin pulls the drape to reveal a much nicer looking cart, with qualities of a NASCAR car and IndyCar car being put into it.)

Hobbes: Now that's what a winning cart should look like.

Calvin: This bad boy is going to win me that $5,000 grand prize, guarunteed!

Hobbes: Usually whenever you say that you don't end up winning.

Calvin: There's a first time for everything.

Scene 4: The heat-races
(Cuts to the track, Calvin and Hobbes are in the pits)

Hobbes: Alright, we should be good for the heat races today.

Calvin: Good, good... Time to put the field on notice today!