Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie Transcript

Scene 1: Duplicate Inflitration
( The film opens as the camera goes through Calvin's house up to Calvin's room, as it shows Calvin and Hobbes waking up and going through their morning routine on a summer day in June, while Machu Picchu by The Strokes plays.  Calvin finishes eating breakfast.)

Calvin:Man,nothing beats eating heart stopping cereal on a nice summer day in June. Hobbes,what do you say about a wagon ride?

Hobbes:That would be alright,as long as you don't kill us like every other time.

Calvin:Whatever. (pulls wagon out of the garage.) Alright,to the top of Sneer Hill! Ready,Hobbes?

Hobbes:No.

Calvin:WHAT?

Hobbes:I said,Oh,joy! I'm excited! Let's get to it!

(Neither of them notice 5 worms sneaking into the garage,by a car tire.)

Worm 2:OK,we have successfully made it to Calvin's house. Now what?

Worm 5:My guess is...LOOK OUT!

(The worms dodge out of the way as Mr. Grayson backs his car up.)

Mr. Grayson: Why did I hear someone yell "look out"? And why are there 5 worms in the garage? Must be crazy,or I had a fourth cup of coffee.

(The worms see Mr. Grayson leaving the street.)

Worm 6:Well,that stunk.

Worm 4:I nearly got run over!

Worm 2:OK,SHUT UP! We need to find the duplicator and turn ourselves into humans again.

Worm 3:We'll need to sneak in undetected. Can we do that?

Worm 2:Of course we can. We're worms.

(They crawl into Calvin's room,unnoticed by Mrs. Grayson who is fixing up lunch.)

Worm 3:Great! We made it.

Worm 5:I know Calvin keeps his Transmogrifier in his closet. 6,can you press the button to turn the rest of us into humans?

Worm 6:I guess,but what about me?

Worm 5:We'll turn you into a human.

(The worms,except 6,crawl under the Transmogrifier.)

Worm 2:Alright,6. Ready?

Worm 6:Ready.

(Worm 6 presses the button and Duplicates 2,3,4,and 5 walk out.)

Worm 6:Now do me.

Duplicate 4:On it.

(Duplicate 4 presses the button and Duplicate 6 comes out.)

Duplicate 6:Thanks,4.

Duplicate 4:No prob.

Duplicate 3:Alright,now everyone's here,let's kill Calvin!

Duplicate 2:Hold it,3,we can't do this alone. We need someone to help with our plan.

Duplicate 5:Agreed.

Duplicate 2:Let's look for our sidekick.

Scene 2: A Wagon Ride and an Encounter with Moe
( Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes are riding through a treacherous part of their woods, and nearly crash several times.)

Calvin: WAHOO!!!!

Hobbes: AAUUUGGGHHH! LOOK OUT FOR THAT TREE!

Calvin:WHAT? Oh yeah,a tree.

(They nearly crash it. Calvin sees a sign that says "Bridge,this way")

Calvin:Let's take it.

Hobbes:I don't think so.

(Calvin and Hobbes approach a cliff.)

Calvin:Where's the bridge? I thought it was right heeeeeeerrrrrrrreeeeeeee!

Hobbes: WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

(Calvin and Hobbes crash into a river. Calvin looks up and sees Moe laughing at him.)

Moe:HA! HA! HA! Man,you totally fell for that!

Calvin:Moe! I knew it...

Moe:I did this so I can get revenge on you from the last day of school.

Calvin:What happened then?

Moe:I was the victim of the prank you pulled on me that day.

Calvin:Oh yeah,now I remember. You got hung upside down by a rope and was blasted at with a water balloon cannon.

Moe:And I planted that sign for revenge.

Calvin:Well,now I will plot revenge on YOU!

Moe:Ha! You'll never swear revenge on me! You're too wimpy,Twinky!

(Moe walks away and Calvin and Hobbes get out of the river. The duplicates witness the experience.)

Duplicate 3:Hey boss,you know how you said that we need a sidekick for our plan?

Duplicate 2:Yes. Why?

Duplicate 3:I think we found him. It's that Moe kid.

Duplicate 2:Excellent. Let's follow him.

(The duplicates follow Moe to his house. Moe is unaware he is being followed. He goes into his house. The duplicates ring the doorbell. Moe answers.)

Moe:Who is it? What do you? Oh,it's you. Twinky,why are there five of you? I must've had too much coffee.

Duplicate 2:Moe Westing,we are duplicates created by Calvin.

Duplicate 3:But after causing trouble in his daily life...

Duplicate 4:He turned us into worms.

Duplicate 5:We snuck back in his house and transmogrified ourselves back...

Duplicate 6:And we believe you can help us out with our plan called...

All Duplicates:The Ultimate Revenge on the Spiky-Haired Brat and Tigger's Cousin,and Take Over the World Afterwards.

Moe: Hmmm....I always wanted to kill Calvin,and I will help you. I have the perfect materials to carry out the plan.

Scene 3: Breaking News
(The film then cuts back to Calvin and Hobbes arriving back home after their wagon-accident, and decide to go inside to watch TV.)

Calvin:The head injuries we've sustained won't hurt as much through some mind numbing television.

Hobbes:Agreed. Should we catch some Twilight Zone on Netflix?

Calvin:Nah. Teen Titans Go! is on Cartoon Network!

Hobbes:YES! TTG IS ON!

(Calvin switches the channel to Cartoon Network. They watch Teen Titans Go! for a while until it cuts to a breaking news report.)

News Anchor:This just in on Fox News! Five exact look alike twins and a burly boy with a black t-shirt are wreaking havoc in Downtown Providence! They are out looking for someone named Calvin.)

Calvin:That's me!

(Moe walks in front of a news camera)

Moe:WE'RE COMING FOR YOU,TWINKY!

Hobbes: Well, that's something I thought I'd never see.

Calvin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hobbes: Are you quite done now?

Calvin: What are we going to do? What are we going to do? You gotta help me Hobbes!

Hobbes: What's the worst that can happen, those chumps are all misguided and stupid. Even if they do take over the world, they'll be harmless.

Calvin: If they take over the world it'll be the end of tuna.

Hobbes: On second thought, I'll come.

Calvin:First,we'll need supplies.

(Calvin puts his Stupendous Man costume,toboggan,comic books and more in the box.)

Hobbes:We won't be able to fit all that stuff in the wagon.

Calvin:Watch this.

(Calvin turns on hypercub mode in the box,and shrinks it to the size of a ring box.

Hobbes:Wow.

Calvin:I know,right? Let's go save Providence.

(Calvin and Hobbes ride into Downtown Providence.)

Scene 4: Battle with Duplicate 2 in Providence
(Calvin and Hobbes ride into Providence.)

Calvin:Hobbes,before we stop Moe and the Duplicates,I want to say that there is one place I'd like destroyed.

Hobbes:What is that?

Calvin:The RISD Museum. That place was as boring as...

(Screen cuts to static. Screen cuts to normal again. Calvin and Hobbes see Duplicate 2 wreaking havoc with a wrecking ball,destroying buildings left and right.)

Calvin:Hey,2!

Duplicate 2:What?

Calvin:Stop destroying Providence! Go destroy the RISD Museum!

Duplicate 2:OK.

(Duplicate 2 smashes the wrecking ball into the RISD Museum.)

Duplicate 2: Okay, now that I did what you want, now I'm going to do what I want.

Calvin: And that would be?

Duplicate 2: Kill you and your tiger friend who's probably Tigger's cousin.

Hobbes: Hey! I am NOT Tigger's cousin.

Duplicate 2: Whatever. (Swings wrecking ball at Calvin and Hobbes, but misses.) DANG IT!

Calvin: Hobbes?

Hobbes: Ya?

Calvin: I got a great idea.

Hobbes: What would that be?

Calvin: GET OUT OF HERE WITH OUR LIVES!

(Hobbes pushes the wagon so he and Calvin can make a quick getaway)

Duplicate 2: Oh no you don't! Your not getting away from me! (Starts going in Calvin and Hobbes' direction)

Calvin: Cmon! Faster! Faster! We got to get away from this psycho!

(Shows Calvin and Hobbes riding through the city, with Duplicate 2 in close pursuit as Bleed American by Jimmy Eat World Plays)

Duplicate 2: Darn it! How are these two keep getting away from my attacks!

(Cuts to Mr. Grayson's Office)

Mr. Grayson: Geez, what is all that noise out there? Must be a drunk driver causing madness. Now,Barry,I will have those documents by tomorrow,OK?

Barry(over the phone):You better,Tom. Or you're FIRED!

(Cuts back to the chase)

Hobbes: Calvin, we're going to crash into the fountain!

Calvin: We won't, it's part of my plan.

(Before hitting the fountain, Calvin swerves the wagon away from it, while Duplicate 2 crashes into the fountain, and flies out.)

Duplicate 2: Ouch, my head. Darn it! They got away. Eh, I'll just go do something else while I'll have one of the other chumps deal with them.

Scene 5: The Movie Theater
(Duplicates 3 and 5 are watching Office Christmas Party at Cinemaworld.)

Duplicate 3:Great movie choice,5.

Duplicate 5:Thanks. I've wanted to see this for a long time.

Duplicate 3:Got any more Mike and Ike's?

Duplicate 5: Nada. We're out. We got more Reese's Pieces.

Duplicate 3:Gimme.

(Duplicate 5 hands Duplicate 3 a bag of Reese's Pieces. At that moment,Calvin and Hobbes barge in.)

Calvin:Alright,dupes! Come with...Ooh! Office Christmas Party! I've wanted to see this,but Mom won't let me.

Hobbes:Calvin,the duplicates have escaped.

Calvin:WHAT? I can't believe...alright. We're going after them.

(In the parking lot,Duplicates 3 and 5 hop into a car.)

Duplicate 3:Sweet ride.

Duplicate 5:OK,you operate the pedals and I'll steer.

Duplicate 3:On it.

(Duplicate 3 pushes on the gas right as Calvin and Hobbes exit the mall.)

Calvin:They're getting away!

Hobbes:Good. Now we can go home.

Calvin:Not so fast,buster. We're taking the box. It will be in airplane mode.

Hobbes:OK. If it's just an airplane,I'll go.

(Hobbes hops in the box. Calvin starts it up and they fly after the duplicates.)

Calvin:OK,I saw the Duplicates steal a gray Nissan Altima. Hobbes,keep lookout.

Hobbes:Why me?

Calvin:Because you're taller than me. Stick to it.

Hobbes:Righto.

Scene 6: Fight at Wrigley Field
(Duplicate 3 and Duplicate 5 are joyriding down the highway,with Calvin and Hobbes in close pursuit.)

Hobbes:There they are!

Calvin: Perfecto! Let's get to the side.

(They fly to the side of the car. Duplicate 5 notices them. He attempts to ram the box to the side.)

Duplicate 5:Eat that!

Calvin:Hey!

(Calvin escapes the ram,leaving Duplicate 5 to make a dent on the car. Duplicate 5 sees a sign to Chicago and turns)

Duplicate 5:This will hold them.

(They turn,unaware Calvin and Hobbes are following them. They drive right into Chicago. Suddenly,Hobbes grabs Duplicate 5,who manages to grab Duplicate 3,and hang from the side of the box.)

Calvin: AAAAAHHHH!!!! HOBBES! I CAN'T HANDLE THE EXTRA WEIGHT! WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!

Hobbes:WHAT?

(They crash into Wrigley Field,brushing themselves off. The two duplicates are very mad.)

Calvin:Well,looks like these two are in for a good fist fight. Ready to kick some Duplicate,Hobbes?

Hobbes;Yeah. You know it.

Calvin:Alright. I'll take 5. You take 3.

Hobbes:Ready.

Calvin:But first,some music.

(Calvin takes out a radio and puts in Welcome Home by Coheed and Cambria. The music starts to play.)

Calvin:FIGHT!!

Duplicate 5:FIGHT!!

(The fight begins. Hobbes punches Duplicate 3 into the pitcher's mound. Duplicate 5 and Calvin are rolling around at home plate when Duplicate 3 bumps into 5,causing Calvin and Duplicate 5 to fall into the stands. Hobbes pounces,but Duplicate 3 ducks,causing Hobbes to tear up right field. Calvin runs up the steps from Duplicate 5 and hides in a concession stand. Duplicate 5 spots him. Calvin starts pelting him with hotdogs and sprays Orange Crush in his face. Duplicate 5 retaliates by throwing a baseball at his stomach,resulting Calvin to grab Duplicate 5 as he is falling. They both tumble into the dugout. Hobbes catches Duplicate 3 on the third level. He leaps up,chases Duplicate 3,and tackles him. They fall onto the field. Hobbes lands safely,but Duplicate 3 lands on Duplicate 5. Hobbes meets up with Calvin.)

Hobbes:Sweet fight,eh?

Calvin:Yeah! I creamed him with hot dogs and sprayed Orange Crush in his face!

Hobbes:Well,I chased him around the third level and tackled him right on Duplicate 5!

(They fail to notice Duplicates 3 and 5 stealing the box. When they start it,Calvin turns around.)

Calvin:HEY! Give back the box!

Duplicate 3:No way! We're escaping this place for good!

(They fly off. Calvin and Hobbes stand at second base,shocked)

Calvin:Great. We're stuck in Chicago with no transportation.

Hobbes:Good. Now we can go home.

Calvin:No,Hobbes,we will not let those duplicates destroy the world,right?

Hobbes:I see a car.

Calvin:That's no excuse,and don't argue with me. The point is...

(Calvin sees the Ferrari used in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.)

Calvin:Whoa,sweet ride! Let's hop in!

Hobbes:We shouldn't,Calvin. It's a valuable piece of movie...

(Calvin starts up the car.)

Hobbes:Merchandise.

(Hobbes sighs and gets in the car.)

Calvin: (Puts on sunglasses and Ferrari Cap) Lets get those dupes. (Puts car in drive and speeds off)

(Shows Calvin and Hobbes travelling across the country to Las Vegas, while getting into police chases and other chaos in the process while Do You Want To by Franz Ferdinand plays)

Calvin: WAHOO! This thing is fast!

Hobbes:You can't drive! What if the car explodes?

Calvin:Nonsense! They're going to Las Vegas! We'll get there in no time! Get on navigation!

Hobbes:OK.

(Hobbes sees the box.)

Hobbes:I see them! Go faster!

Calvin:No prob!

(Calvin and Hobbes see the exit for Las Vegas.)

Hobbes:There it is! Turn left!

(Calvin turns left,following the box.)

Hobbes:Wow...this landscape is awesome!

Calvin:Can I see?

Hobbes:Sure.

(Calvin and Hobbes see Las Vegas's lights and are amazed.)

Calvin:Cool...

Hobbes:Awesome.

(Calvin fails to steer.)

Hobbes:LOOK OUT!

Calvin: AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!

(They survive and get into the city. It's a heated chase all around the city. Calvin sees they are under the box.)

Calvin:Hobbes! Hoist me up to the box!

Hobbes:OK,but if you fail,it's been an honor being your friend.

(Hobbes hoists Calvin up to the box. He grabs the side. Hobbes realizes without a driver,the car will crash. So he takes control of steering. With the extra weight,the box crashes into a casino. Hobbes decides to take a risk and drive through the glass doors of the casino,parking at the slot machine the box crashed at.)

Calvin:There you are,Hobbes. Look at what you've done!

Hobbes:I'm sorry,Calvin,I know I said this was a valuable piece of movie merchandise,but I forgot.

Calvin:You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Hobbes:The dupes escaped again.

Calvin:What?

Hobbes:But they left our box back to us.

Calvin:Good. Now we can get around more easily. It's getting late. We should find a place to stay.

Hobbes:Sure.

Calvin:I have 20 dollars here. Let's duplicate it and find a hotel.

Hobbes:Sounds good.

Calvin:How about there?(points to Caesar's Palace.)

Hobbes:How will you afford a room there?

Calvin:I told you I will duplicate a 20 dollar bill I have.

(Calvin duplicates the 20 dollar bill into ten thousand dollars. Then they walk into the hotel.)

Calvin:Excuse me,where's the lobby?

Man:Down the hall and to the right.

Calvin:Thanks.

(They walk to the front desk. The concierge is on the phone.)

Concierge: Yes,sir,you're room will be available by next week. Please hold,I have a customer.

(The concierge looks down and sees Calvin and Hobbes)

Concierge: Why,hello there. Welcome to Caesar's Palace. How long will you stay here?

Calvin:One night's enough here.

Concierge: Excellent. You are in room 1329. That will be $8000.

(Calvin hands the concierge 80 $100 bills.)

Calvin:Keep the change.

(The concierge eyes him strangely.)

Concierge: Kid,aren't you a little young to be here at a luxury hotel like this one alone?

Calvin:No,you see,my parents are very rich,and they think I should travel the world alone. I've been all over the world. I've been to Finland,Paris,Italy,Los Angeles,Seattle(which is very rainy,by the way),Tokyo,Orlando...

Concierge: Enough! Please. I have a job to do,kid. Here's your room key,have a nice stay.

(Calvin walks to the elevator as the doors shut.)

Concierge: Phew. That is one annoying kid.

Scene 7: Police Chase
(Meanwhile at Calvin's house,Mrs. Grayson has fixed lunch.)

Mrs. Grayson: Alright. Another triceratops sandwich. Calvin?

(no answer)

Mrs.Grayson:Calvin!

(no answer)

Mrs.Grayson:CALVIN! I'VE MADE YOUR LUNCH SO GET DOWN HERE!

(At that moment,Mr.Grayson comes home.)

Mr.Grayson:Boy,what a day. Barry was furious. Luckily,I have his documents. What's wrong,honey?

Mrs.Grayson:Calvin won't come down. In fact,I have not seen him all day.

Mr.Grayson:Weird. I heard a wrecking ball smashing buildings during my call with Barry.

Mrs.Grayson:Yeah,that is weird. That wrecking ball destroyed the RISD Museum. Calvin would've been proud. But it looked like Calvin had wrecked it,but then I saw another Calvin running from the wrecking ball.

Mr.Grayson:What? OK,that's just peculiar. We'll keep a sharp lookout.

(Meanwhile,at the hotel,Calvin and Hobbes have entered their room.)

Hobbes:Wow...

Calvin:Dibs on the bed closest to the TV!

(They both settle in. During the night,they rent Sausage Party,gaze at the lights of Las Vegas,call up room service,eat out of the mini-fridge,get full on Coke,and jump on the beds,as Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy plays. The next morning,police cars surround the Viva Town Luxury Hotel. Two cops enter,pointing their guns.)

Cop 1:Alright,calm down,we have this place surrounded!

Cop 2:Has anyone seen a spiky-haired boy with a red striped t-shirt?

Cop 1:Consierge,has anyone to that disguise come to you last night?

Consierge:I think so. He's a very rich kid,you see,and came here alone.

Cop 2:Alone? Weird.

(Meanwhile,Calvin and Hobbes are unconscious on the floor. Then they wake up.)

Calvin:How about we watch some TV after that wild night last night?

Hobbes:Sure.

(They switch on the TV,for it to be on breaking news.)

News Anchor:This just in! Several Las Vegas casinos have been robbed by a spiky-haired boy with a red striped t-shirt. Police have surrounded the Viva Town Luxury Hotel,with reports sayng that is where the kid is staying.

Calvin:Hold up a minute,that's not me!

Hobbes:That's Duplicate 4.

Calvin:We gotta stop him.

(They exit their room,run to the elevator,and push the button for the lobby. As the door opens,the cops notice him.)

Cop 1:Hey,there he is! Keep good distance from the convict!

Concierge: Wait,I let a convict into my hotel?

Cop 2:Seems like it.

Consierge:I am outraged. Just outraged.

(Bodysnatchers by Radiohead begins to play.)

Calvin:Well,I'd not say this to a cop,but...I gotta run!

Cop 1:He's getting away!

Cop 2:Not for long.

(The casino chase begins. Calvin runs by a slot machine,pulling the lever,and he gets 3 treasure chests. It spills coins on the floor. The two cops slip on them,and they fall. Hobbes leaps over a pool table with Cop 1.)

Cop 1: Get back here you stupid tiger! Or whatever you are, uh, a guy in a tiger suit? I don't know let me just catch you.

Hobbes: (Sees a bar, goes and grabs a bottle of wine and throws it at Cop 1.) Take that! That's what you get for insulting me!

Cop 1: Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! I won't hurt you. I'll just go get the kid instead! (Runs off)

Hobbes: Idiot.

Bartender: Uh, can I help you in any way sir?

Hobbes: Oh yeah, get me a shrimp cocktail would ya?

(Cuts back to Cop 2 chasing Calvin)

Cop 2: You won't get away with this you little punk! I've caught so many idiots like you before! And I'll, uh. (Realizes that Calvin is gone) Drats! Now what?

Scene 8: Return of the Snow Goons
(Cuts to Duplicate 4 hauling some cash into the Ferrari)

Duplicate 4: Heh! Heh! Heh! That was easy! Now to get back to Moe and.. (Calvin comes crashing out the window.)

Calvin: Ugh, I think I got away from them. (Notices Duplicate 4) You!

Duplicate 4: What? What did I do?

Calvin: You moron! I'm going to tear you limb from limb! You caused me and Hobbes to get chased around 3 casinos by these two dimwitted cops thanks to you robbing the casinos!

Duplicate 4: And how is that my problem?

Calvin: Well uh....

(Hobbes comes crashing through a window)

Hobbes: Sorry, I had to get a shrimp cocktail before we left.

Duplicate 4: Great, now the tiger as well

(Both cops crash through a window)

Cop 1: Alright! We got them! This is a- Wait a second, there's two of you?

Cop 2: Okay now I'm just really confused.

Duplicate 4: Ok well, I'm out of here. Later suckers! (Drives off)

Calvin: Hobbes quick! Let's get out of here ourselves!

(They hop in the box and take off)

Cop 1: Now what? They both got away!

Cop 2: Simple. We go after them both.

(The cops get in the police car and start chasing after them. Chase begins, with Duplicate 4 swerving all over avoiding the police, and avoids Calvin and Hobbes' attempts to stop him. Eventually the police catch up to Duplicate 4, but he shoves the cops into a ditch.)

Cop 1: Well, they got away.

Cop 2: Not for long, here, come help me get the car out of the ditch!

(Cuts back to Calvin and Hobbes)

Hobbes: Calvin?

Calvin: Ya?

Hobbes: Don't you think it's getting kind of cold?

Calvin: Well now that you mention it I guess, I don't know why.

(Cuts to show Calvin and Hobbes in a snowy landscape)

Hobbes: Well that explains it.

Calvin: Look! There's The Dupe! He's filling up on gas! Let's get him while we have the chance!

(Shows Duplicate 4 filling up the car with gas, then gets attacked by Calvin and Hobbes)

Duplicate 4: Hey! Ow! That hurts! What was that for?!

Calvin: Because, reasons.

Duplicate 4: Reasons?

Calvin: Well, prepare for trouble.

Hobbes: And make it double.

Duplicate 4: I DIDN'T ASK YOU TWO NINCOMPOOPS TO LAMPOON CARTOON CATCHPHRASES! SNOW GOONS! ATTACK!

Calvin: There's none in sight, what are yo-

(Snow Goons come in the distance and start attacking Calvin and Hobbes.)

Calvin:Well,If it isn't my old nemesis's. The snow goons!

Hobbes:Let's fight them.

Calvin:Alright.

Hobbes:Wait,no fight music this time?

Calvin:Nah. Coheed and Cambria is enough.

Hobbes:Fine.

(Calvin lunges for a snow goon and goes right through it. The snow goon collapses. Hobbes punches a snow goon in the face,causing the head to fly off. Calvin notices Duplicate 4 is controlling the snow goons.)

Calvin:Hobbes!

Hobbes:Not now,Calvin,I'm trying to rip a snow brain out of this guy.

(Calvin rolls his eyes. He then rips out the heart of another snow goon. He then gets an idea. He pulls the bottom of the snow goon off of him and hurls it at Duplicate 4. Duplicate 4 collapses to the ground with the snow goons collapsing as well.)

Hobbes:What was that?

Calvin:I noticed that Duplicate 4 was controlling the snow goons so I heaved a snowball at him,and that mad him lose control of the snow goons.

Hobbes:Interesting...

Calvin:Look! A device he was using! Alright,4,(picks up GPS) what is this?

Duplicate 4:Nothing.

Calvin:Don't lie.

Duplicate 4:It's nothing.

Calvin:JUST SAY WHAT IT IS!

Duplicate 4:Fine! It's a GPS to Moe and Duplicate 6's hideout! (covers mouth) I'm sorry! Forget I said that!

Calvin:Too late. I can see the cops. Let's roll.

(Calvin and Hobbes leap into the box as the cops pull up.)

Cop 1:There he is!

Cop 2:Get him.

Cop 1:On it.

(Cop 1 arrests Duplicate 4 and throws him into the police car. They drive away.)

Scene 9: Inflitrating the Fortress
(Meanwhile,Calvin and Hobbes are flying around.)

Hobbes:Never really see many forests in Providence.

Calvin:Yeah,it's mostly beaches.

Hobbes:Look!

(Calvin sees an abandoned Army fortress.)

Calvin:An abandoned Army fortress?

Hobbes:Worth a shot. It says this is Moe and Duplicate 6's hideout.

(A shadow sees the Time Machine, and grabs a ray gun and blasts it straight at Calvin and Hobbes, sending them down.

Calvin: WE'RE GOING DOWN! MAY DAY! MAY DAY!

(Calvin and Hobbes crash into the abandoned Army fortress.

Hobbes: Are we dead?

Calvin: No furball, we're alive, now get up.

Hobbes: Alright, alright, I'm coming.

Calvin: Now, to find that brute...

Hobbes: Maybe he isn't here, Dupe 4 could've been lying to us.

Calvin: If he is, he's going to get it even worse...

(Cuts to a room with Duplicate 6 and Moe, playing Mario Kart 8 on a Wii U)

Moe: Heh heh! This race is mine.

Duplicate 6: Not on my watch! Ha! Take that!

Moe: ARRGHGHH! I LOST AGAIN! WHY! WHY! WHY!

Guard: Uh, excuse me Master Moe.

Moe: WHAT?!

Guard: Um, one of our watchmen outside said they shot down a cardboard box, and it seemed to have a blonde spikey haired kid and a tiger riding it.

Moe: Twinky...

Duplicate 6: You would've thought the other four would've killed them by now.

Moe: Well, it just goes to show that your the only duplicate twinky that isn't incompetent, since you haven't been beaten up by him.

Duplicate 6: I haven't even fought him yet but okay...

Guard: So what do you want us to do Master Moe?

Moe: Well, go get them and bring them here so I can punch them.

Guard: We don't even know where they are, the guards found the box abandoned.

Moe: Drats... What else...

Duplicate 6: What about those robots you were telling me about?

Moe: Oh yeah, brilliant idea duplicate twinky! Send the robots after them!

Guard: I'm on it Master Moe. (Runs off)

Moe: Twinky won't last any longer with those robots, he'll be good as dead.

Duplicate 6: Then we can rule the world!

Moe: Ya! With the two of us, we'll rule!

Duplicate 2: Hey guys, what's up?

Moe: Wha?! Other Duplicate Twinky?! I thought you got beat by the real twinky.

Duplicate 2: Yes, so I figured I could try and get back here and help, I got 3 and 5 as well here.

Duplicate 5: 3 and I are lucky to be alive.

Moe: What about the other Duplicate Twinky?

Duplicate 3: Oh yeah, he got arrested by the Las Vegas Police Department.

Moe: WHAT?!

Duplicate 2: Yeah, didn't you read today's newspaper headline? (Shows Newspapaer that reads, "Six year old boy arrested for robbing casinos in Las Vegas, claims to be a duplicate.)

Moe: Oh well, so now all of us will rule together once we eliminate twinky! Get some popcorn! Get some A&W's! Let's watch the death of the twinky live!

(Cuts to Calvin and Hobbes walking down a pathway)

Hobbes: For some reason, this doesn't seem like your average abandoned military fortress...

Calvin: Well duh! It's obviously been modified since they abandoned it and hobos began sneaking in and causing chaos! Maybe there's some link here that will help us find Area 51.

Hobbes: I thought we were trying to stop Moe and Dupe 6.

Calvin: Oh yeah, heh, got sidetracked for a second there. Heh, heh.

Hobbes: Obviously.

(Suddenly, a trap door opens and Calvin and Hobbes fall down it)

Scene 10: Battle with the Robots
Calvn and Hobbes: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa

(They fall to the bottom, and then the lights turn on to reveal a room completly steel, with two shadows observing)

Hobbes: Ugh, that hurt.

Calvin: I want to know why we're down here, did we go the wrong way?

Hobbes: Why don't you ask those two shadows over there?

Calvin: HEY! SHADOWS! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?!

???: Oh, nothing really, this is just the place we're going to kill you and your tiger friend.

Calvin: Wait what?

(The shadows reveal themselves, which are robot versions of Calvin and Hobbes.)

Mecha Calvin: We are robot clones of you two that we're made for the sole purpose of killing you two, and world domination.

Calvin: WHAT?! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD BUT ME! ALSO I'M THE ONLY ONE ABLE TO KILL HOBBES IF I WANT TO!

Hobbes: Your not helping the situation Calvin.

Robo Hobbes: You know, the faster you stop complaining, the faster we can kill you.

Calvin: Oh YEAH?! I don't go without a fight pal, so try me!

(Calvin throws a rock at Mecha Calvin, it deflects off Mecha Calvin.)

Mecha Calvin: Oh pitiful human, that didn't hurt in the slightest.

(Robo Hobbes pounces Hobbes, and the fight begins)

(They fight for a long while, until Calvin accidently takes off Robo Hobbes' tail, causing him to fall and malfunction)

Mecha Calvin; NO!

(Calvin trips Mecha Calvin, and he gets destroyed)

Calvin: Yes! Another victory for Calvin the Bold!

Hobbes: I helped to you know...

Calvin: Oh come on! I did most of the work myself!

Hobbes: I did most of it! I have strength! Muscle! Power!

Calvin: Yeah, yeah. Whatever fleabag. Lets just go find Moe and-

(Calvin and Hobbes fall down a trap door, and into a pit surrounded by fire.)

Scene 11: Fight with Moe and Duplicate 6
(Moe appears, clapping)

Moe: Well, well, well... If it isn't the twinky and his stuf-wait what's that?

Hobbes: A tiger, that's what.

Moe: Wait huh? How come I haven't noticed this before?

Calvin: Because your too clueless, duh.

Moe: Quit yappin' twinky, its time for me to finish you.

Calvin: Yeah? You and one army?

(Duplicates 2,3,5 and 6 appear)

Hobbes: You spoke too soon...

Calvin: Shut up fleabag.

Moe: ALright duplicate twinky's, ATTACK! (Moe and Duplicates 2,3,5 and 6 charge after Calvin and Hobbes)

Calvin: FOR GROSS INEQUALITY! (Charges at Moe)

Hobbes: That's the best you could come up with?

Calvin: Yes! (Gets punched by Moe)  Oh, you asked for it bud... (Kicks Moe in the leg)

Hobbes: Well, lets get this done and over with...

(Fight begins, while Brianstorm by Arctic Monkeys plays, the fight goes on for a while, until Calvin and Hobbes finally have Moe and the remaining Duplicates beat)

Calvin: Ha! YES! Finally! WOOO! I WON! I ACTUALLY WON AGAINST THEM!

Hobbes: I helped to you know...

Calvin: Nobody cares Hobbes! I'll be the one basking in all the glory!

Moe: (Panting heavily) Ugh...how...did...this...happen....

Calvin: Because I'm the GOAT!

Hobbes: Okay, let's not get too crazy here...

(Duplicate 3 and 6 get up and sneak off)

Moe: (Panting heavily) Twinky...you...you...

Calvin: Cmon Moe, just admit that I just beat you with my awsomeness, and that I have prevailed and saved the world from pure morons taking over the world. Because if its anyone who's going to take over the world, its me!

(Hobbes facepalms)

Calvin: Hey Hobbes, do me a favor and call the cops would ya?

Scene 12: The Emergence of Alter-Egos and the Villain's Escape
(Cuts to Duplicates 3 and 6 with a large ray gun)

Duplicate 3: NOT SO FAST CALVIN!

Duplicate 6: YA! YOUR TOAST FOR SURE THIS TIME! (Presses button and the ray gun blasts and hits Calvin)

Duplicate 3: It was a direct hit! He's done for!

Duplicate 6: About time!

(Smoke clears, Calvin gets up to see Spaceman Spiff, Stupendous Man, and Tracer Bullet on the ground)

Calvin: Woah...

Hobbes: Oh gosh...

Moe: What the?! They're REAL?

Spaceman Spiff: Spaceman Spiff awakens to find himself trapped in some sort of... I honestly don't know where I am right now...

Tracer Bullet: If you need help figuring that out, go ask another private eye...

Stupendous Man: Zounds! Its my brute nemesis! Moe-Man!

Moe: Moe-Man?! What kind of name is that Superhero Twinky?!

Hobbes: I don't think I was prepared for this...

Calvin: Nice hair.

Spaceman Spiff; Your's isn't half bad.

Duplicate 2: Great... just great...

Calvin: Well, looks like its FIVE to four now Moe! You might as well surrender now, because I totally have you beat now!

(Duplicate 3 presses a button, and a secret door opens)

Duplicate 6: Quick! Get to the escape ship!

(Duplicate 3 presses a button that opens a hatch. Then a spaceship shoots out of the base.)

Spiff: Now what?

Calvin: I have a plan. Me and Hobbes will take the box, Stupendous Man can fly, and Spiff and Tracer can take Spiff's ship.

Tracer: Sounds like a plan.

Stupendous Man: Up, up, and AWAY!!!! (flies off.)

Spiff: We'll follow you up.

(Spiff and Tracer hop in the spaceship, and Calvin and Hobbes get in the box. Both fly off.)

Scene 13: Meet Dr. Scientist
(The five land on a space station.)

Calvin: A space station?

Spiff: I know a lot about these...

Calvin: That's nice. Let's go.

(The five hop out of their vehicles, and run down a hallway.)

Stupendous Man: I will use my X-ray vision to find the villains!

Calvin: Can't we use the door?

Stupendous Man: Oh, yes, of course.

(Calvin opens the door and sees Moe dancing to Flo Rida's Low.)

Calvin: Moe?

Moe: Twinky...

Calvin: I didn't know you could shake your tail feathers!

Moe: ENOUGH!

(Moe tackles Calvin and they wrestle. Hobbes and the alter egos watch.)

Tracer: Should we help them?

Hobbes: Nah. This is more fun.

(Moe kicks Calvin into Tracer.)

Tracer: That's it. You're dead!

(Tracer pulls out his gun and shoots Moe, but misses and hits Duplicate 3.)

Duplicate 3: Why you little!

(Duplicate 3 pulls out a chainsaw and hurls it at Stupendous Man, but Stupendous Man freezes it with is freeze breath, and the ice block crushes Duplicate 5.)

Duplicate 5: OW! CURSE YOU!

(Duplicate 5 throws a katana at Spiff, but he blasts it away with his Death Ray Blaster. It hits Duplicate 6 and almost impales him.)

Duplicate 6: Screw you!

(Duplicate 6 throws a shield at Hobbes and it hits him, but he pounces back. The heroes and villains get into a war. Calvin takes Moe, Hobbes takes Duplicate 2, Spiff takes Duplicate 3, Stupendous Man takes Duplicate 5, and Tracer takes Duplicate 6. They all battle until a silhouette appears.

???: ENOUGH!

(They stop fighting. The silhouette steps into the light, revealing to be a bald man with a lab coat.)

Calvin: Who are you?

???: I am Dr. Murdoch Scientist, evil genius!

(Calvin and Hobbes laugh at his name.)

Calvin: Oh, man! What a name!

Dr. Scientist: Stop laughing! Moe!

Moe: STOP LAUGHING AT MY DAD!

(Calvin and Hobbes stop laughing.)

Hobbes: What was that?

Moe: He's my dad, tiger.

Calvin: Your DAD?

Moe: Yeah, he adopted me when I was three.

Calvin: YOU'RE ADOPTED?! MOE EXPOSED!!!!!

Moe: SHUT UP!

Dr. Scientist: Well, it's time we kill you. Duplicates! Moe! To the secret weapon!!!

(Moe, Dr. Scientist, and the Duplicates run into darkness.)

Scene 14: The Final Battle
(Calvin and Hobbes and the alter egos run into a battle arena, inside of New Mexico.)

Hobbes: Where are we?

Spiff: According to my calculations, we are in a high security prison in the New Mexico desert.

Tracer: Great. Now we'll die from thirst.

Calvin: You've got whiskey.

Tracer: Oh, yeah. Want some?

Calvin: I can't drink.

Tracer: I see.

(Suddenly, a giant robot crashes through a wall.)

Dr. Scientist: SURRENDER! We will destroy! For we combined are...MECHALOPNICA!!!

(Mechalopnica's fist turns into a mallet. Tracer fires his gun, but it deflects off the mallet. It comes close to hitting him, but Stupendous Man uses his mind control to temporarily confuse the movement of it, while Spiff shoots his blaster at them)

Spiff: It's no use! We'll never be able to take this thing down! It's too darn powerful!

Stupendous Man: Well I mean we can hold it off, but we need someway to get inside it...

Tracer: You do realize there is a hatch that says "Entrance Only" right?

Hobbes: So NOW you tell us?

Calvin: Shut up Hobbes! We're lucky he saw it!

Spiff: Quick! Get in there! The three of us will hold it off as long as we can!

Calvin: On it! Cmon Hobbes!

(The two sneak into the hatch)

Calvin: Hmm... Alright, I'll get Dupe 2, and you get Dupe 3, then we'll deal with Dupes 5 and 6, then with the main two loons after that.

Hobbes: On it.

(The two split up, Calvin crashes into Duplicate 2's control room)

Dupe 2: What the?!

Calvin: YAA! (Calvin charges in and the two begin to fight)

(Cuts to Hobbes busting into Duplicate 3's control room)

Dupe 3: Gah!

Hobbes: I do enjoy some duplicated Calvin for a meal... (Shows claws)

Dupe 3: Can't we just work something out?

Hobbes: If you said that 27 years ago I'd consider it.

Dupe 3: Wha?

(Hobbes pounces Duplicate 3)

(Cuts back to Calvin and Duplicate 2, who are beating each other up)

Dupe 2: Ow! hey! Why are you doing this to me?! I was your first Duplicate!

Calvin: Well maybe if you and your other duplicated morons would've listened to ME, we wouldn't be dooing this at all! Besides, I'm the original!

Dupe 2: Well you never offered to negotiate with me and the others!

Calvin: I did offer to negotiate with the five of you plenty of times! But you simpletons decided to go your own way!

Dupe 2: Five? No, no... There were six duplicates.

Calvin: SIX DUPLICATES?! THERE WAS ONLY FIVE! EVEN I'M NOT THAT BAD AT MATH!

Dupe 2: Well you obviously don't pay attention ever, because there was six!

Calvin: Five!

Dupe 2: Six!

Calvin: Five!

Dupe 2: Six!

Calvin: Five!

Dupe 2: Six!

Calvin: Five!

Dupe 2: Six!

Calvin: Five!

Dupe 2: Six!

Calvin: Five!

 Dupe 2: Six!

 Calvin: Five!

Dupe 2: Six!

Calvin: Five!

Dupe 2: Six!

(Hobbes busts in the room and pounces Duplicate 2, knocking him out)

Hobbes: Took you long enough. I managed to finish all the other dupes for you while you were in a shouting match...

Calvin: Well he doesn't know math! Its as clear as day!

Hobbes: Look who's talking...

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Calvin: Look, shut up and lets just finish the other two and be done with this so I can get my face carved onto Mount Rushmore even quicker.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">(Hobbes rolls his eyes as he follows Calvin to the main control room. Hobbes then busts down the door.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Moe: What the?!

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Dr. Scientist: You two...

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Calvin: Let's see if you two want to rumble...

<p style="font-weight:normal;">(Calvin leaps on Moe, and Hobbes lands on Dr. Scientist. They get in a brawl. Hobbes knocks Dr. Scientist out the window.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Moe: Dad!

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Dr. Scientist: I'll be OK, Moe!

<p style="font-weight:normal;">(Moe throws Hobbes out the window.)

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Calvin: HOBBES!

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Hobbes: CALVIN!

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Moe: Time for you to die, Twinky!

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Calvin: WAIT! Before you kill me, I want to know something.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Moe: What, Twinky?

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Calvin: Why did you ever bully me?

<p style="font-weight:normal;">(Moe goes silent, and drops his sword.)

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Moe: Here goes. I used to be the son of Principal Spittle, and he treated me like the king of the school. Until you came along and got into trouble a lot, so it directed his focus away from me. I started to bully you to get attention from Spittle, and then we had an argument which got me disowned. I got adopted by Dr. Scientist and he taught me the ways of evil. That's why I want to take over the world. And now you'll die.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">(Hobbes and Dr. Scientist, with the alter egos, burst in.)

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Dr. Scientist: Moe! Activate the rocket boots!

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Hobbes: Rocket...

<p style="font-weight:normal;">(Mechalopnica takes off, and it causes Calvin to fall out the window.)

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Hobbes: CALVIN!!!!

<p style="font-weight:normal;">(Calvin falls, but in slow motion, he then notices a cable. He grabs onto it and swings into the control room.)

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Calvin: I gotta shut down this robot. But how?

<p style="font-weight:normal;">(Calvin notices a power box.)

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Calvin: Well, that was easy.

<p style="font-weight:normal;">(Calvin pulls down the switch and pulls out some cables, and the robot shuts down.)

<p style="font-weight:normal;">Calvin: Yes!!! <h2 style="font-weight:normal;">Scene 15: Calvin's Triumph (In the control room, Moe stares at the screen with a worried look.)

Dr. Scientist: What's wrong, Moe?

Moe: The power's out! The robot's gonna explode!

Hobbes: Calvin's still in the center!

Spiff: It doesn't matter. You've lived life alone for ten years right?

Hobbes: Yeah.

Spiff: You need to leave Calvin behind.

Hobbes: No!

Stupendous Man: It's for the best, young mortal.

(Hobbes and the alter egos jump out of the robot. Dr. Scientist and Moe fail to jump out, and the robot crashes near Lincoln High School in Providence. Several cars pull up and civilians take pictures of it on their phones. Hobbes walks up to the robot.)

Hobbes: Calvin...

(Silence. Hobbes begins to cry. Then some metal moves and Calvin emerges from the wreckage.)

Hobbes: CALVIN!!!

Calvin: Hobbes!

(Calvin and Hobbes hug, with the whole town cheering. Then Calvin's parents pull up.)

Mr. Grayson: CALVIN! WHERE WERE YOU? WE WERE WORRIED SICK!

Calvin: Saving the world.

Mrs. Grayson: You destroyed half of Providence on a wrecking ball! You're grounded!

Civilian: Ease up on him, lady! He saved the world! It's all on YouTube and the news! What the newspapers are showing is that the latest Patriots game was won 18-0.

Mrs. Grayson: See? I told you we should watch the news more! He's right! Our son's a hero!

Calvin: There's one more thing I need to do...

(Calvin runs to a payphone and pulls out a quarter and dials 911.)

Operator: Hello, this is 911, how may I help you?

Calvin: There is a giant robot near Lincoln High School. Send everyone in the police force.

(The Rhode Island Police Department, FBI, CIA, SWAT, and Government officials surround the scene.)

Cop: OK, hands up!

(Moe and Dr. Scientist exit the robot with their hands up.)

Cop: OK, you're coming with us.

(Two FBI officials take Moe and Dr. Scientist.)

Moe: We will be back!

Dr. Scientist: And we will have revenge!

(Calvin and Hobbes laugh)

Calvin: Yeah right!

(The squad cars leave.)

Scene 16: The End
(Cut to a park with a podium. Rhode Island's mayor is giving a speech.)

Mayor: As mayor of Rhode Island, I am proud to announce a huge prize to Calvin Grayson, who saved us all.

(The town cheers.)

Mayor: Calvin, it is my great pleasure to award you a check for five million dollars...

Calvin: YES! I'M RICH!

Mayor: And the Key to the City.

(The town cheers. Can't Stop by Red Hot Chili Peppers begins to play. Cut to Hobbes on a hill.)

Hobbes: OK. Sign, check, Wagon, check, ready to go!

(Hobbes rolls down the hill, but loses control.)

Hobbes: Whoa! Look out!

Calvin: What an adventure this was. Who knew that a small duplicator incident could lead to this?

(The wagon crashes into Calvin.)

Calvin: WHOA! STOP THE WAGON!

(Hobbes stops the wagon, and Calvin lurches into the pond.)

Hobbes: Calvin! Are you OK?

Calvin: Shut up and get me some medical attention, you furball.

(Cut to black and roll credits.)

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Produced by Ben Stiller, Justin Theroux, and J.J. Abrams

Screenplay by by Justin Theroux

Executive Producer: Bill Watterson

Director of Photography: John Toll

Production Designer: Jeff Mann

Edited by Greg Hayden

Costumes Designed by Banana Republic

Music Supervisor: Dave Jordan

Music by Theodore Shapiro

Casting by Nick Davis

Tom Kenny...

Owen Wilson...

Paul Rudd...

Scarlett Johansson...

Martin Landau...

Dennis Quaid...

Nick Kroll...

John C. Reilly...

Crispin Glover...

Tim Curry...

Kevin James...

Arnold Schwartzenegger...

with Jeremy Irons...

and Elijah Wood as Dr. Scientist

20th Century Fox Presents

A Bad Robot production

Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie

(Cut to Lincoln High School, where the robot parts have not been cleaned up. Then a mysterious figure walks up to the robot parts, and picks up cans with Mecha-Calvin and Robo-Hobbes.)

???: Perfect...

THE END.