The Origin of Noodles Transcript

Scene 1: The start of the day
(Shows outside of Calvin's house. It is dark, and stormy, cuts to Calvin and Hobbes sleeping, Hobbes wakes up, and sneaks into the closet and shuts it, he grabs a tape recorder)

Hobbes: Alright, here it goes. Right now, I shall tell you one of America's biggest myths. Bigger than Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster! This being, the dreaded Noodle Incident.

(A lightning strike is heard)

Hobbes: I wasn't there when it happened, but I know everything that happened. Once it happened, everyone knew about it, every big name news agency, even the government knew about it! Heck, everyone knows about it to this day! Well, except Calvin's parents that is, but we'll get to that later. So now, I shall take my time on this dark and stormy night to tell you the story, of the Noodle Incident...

(Flashback begins)

Calvin: Everyday its the same old thing. Nothing ever changes, its just school, school, school. But not today, today, I go for the gusto.

Hobbes: I think you should ask your mom if that's okay.

Calvin: Oh shut up fleabag, nothing could possibly go wrong!

Hobbes: Everytime you say that, something does.

Calvin: Shut up, all I'm doing is going for the gusto!

Hobbes: Which is?

Calvin: Uh... I don't know yet, but I know that I'll know when I'm going for the gusto!

Hobbes: (Rolls eyes) Of course you will...

(Cuts to downstairs)

Mom: Erm, Calvin? Why are you wearing a costume?

Calvin: Oh! Uh... For show and tell today! Yeah!

Mom: (Under breath) I don't wanna know...

(Cuts to the bus stop, Susie walks up)

Susie: What's with the getup Calvin?

Calvin: Uh, for big secret important things! That you can't know about!

Susie: Why?! I'm just asking!

Calvin: You can't know, it'll compromise the whole mission.

Susie: What mission?

Calvin: Uh, I said too much! (Bus pulls up) Finally! (Runs in)

Susie: (Sighs) You can never know what Calvin is up to...

Scene 2: The start of the plan
(Cuts to Bill Watterson Elementary School)

Principal Spittle: (On loudspeaker) Good morning students! I hope you are eager for another day of school! While I know that its cold and snowy outside, surely you'll be happy to be inside our nicely heated school! The only announcement for the day is that today's lunch will be Noodles. Have a good day!

Calvin: Hmm... This makes things even easier... (Shows Calvin looking bored as the day goes by, until about ten minutes to lunch) Calvin: (Coughs loudly) Miss Wormwood? Can I get a drink? Miss Wormwood: Yes, but hurry back Calvin. (Calvin walks out, and runs to his locker to put on his disguise) Calvin: Operation: Gusto is a-go. Heh heh heh...

(Calvin runs to his locker and puts on his costume, he then grabs his hot sauce, noodles, and salamanders and goes to the boiler room, once getting there, he dumps some of the hot sauce and a few salamanders into it and scurries off to the cafeteria kitchen)

Lunch Lady 1: Hey Jan, did we get all the noodles in the pots?

Lunch Lady 2: I don't think so, I think there are two big bags of them left in the pantry.

Lunch Lady 1: Alright, let me help you get them so we can get these all out to the kids

(As the lunch ladies leave, Calvin sneaks in, and proceeds to put all the noodles, salamanders, and hot sauce in the pots where the noodles are cooking, and gets away unnoticed, the lunch ladies come back and put the rest of the noodles in the pots, not noticing what has been put in them)

Calvin: Wow, that was about 20 times easier than I thought that was gonna go, phew!

(Calvin throws his costume back in his locker, and goes back to class)

Miss Wormwood: ...and so, the efforts made by Lewis and Clark directly led to the Louisiana Purchase during Thomas Jefferson's presidency.

(Bell rings)

Miss Wormwood: Have a good lunch everyone.

Calvin: Yes, a good one indeed...

Scene 3: The chaos in the cafeteria
(Cuts to the cafeteria, Calvin is wearing his costume again)

Kid 1: Ugh! These noodles burn!

Kid 2: Yeah, they got hot sauce or something in them!

Kid 3: Blech! I should've brought a lunch today!

Calvin: Heh heh, everything is going to plan.

(Susie comes and sits by Calvin)

Calvin: Enjoying lunch today Susie?

Susie: (Sighs) Look Calvin, just because the lunch is bad today doesn't mean you can bug us about it with your disgusting stuff.

Calvin: Relax, I didn't bring a lunch today.

'FWOOSH! '

(A fire is seen burning in the kitchen)

Lunch Lady 1: FIRE!

Lunch Lady 2: We gotta get out of here quick! (Pulls fire alarm)

(Kids start screaming and running all over the place)

Calvin: Well, this is working better than expected.

(Cuts to Principal Spittle running out of his office)

Principal Spittle: Oh man, oh man... Hopefully, this is nothing too bad. Heck, a false alarm would be better! I can't have a major fire right now! Especially in the dead of winter!

(Principal Spittle runs into the cafeteria to still see kids scurrying their way out and a massive fire engulfing the kitchen and more, he gulps)

(Cuts to two fire trucks pulling up to the school and hopping out)

Miss Wormwood: Thank goodness you're here. The cafeteria doors are to the right.

(The firemen nod and run to the kitchen)

Fireman 1: Oh man, this is a big one! (Starts up the hose and begins trying to put it out.)

(A loud boom is heard from beyond the cafeteria)

Fireman 1: What was that?!

Fireman 2: Let me go out and look!

(The second fireman runs to the hallways and discovers the boiler room is on fire as well)

Fireman 2: CRIPES! WE'RE GONNA NEED MAJOR BACK UP!

(Cuts back to outside)

Principal Spittle: Oh man, this is not good...

Miss Wormwood: Well, at least everyone has been accounted for I believe...

Principal Spittle: Wait, where's Calvin?

(Cuts to Calvin sneaking into a fire truck)