The Calvin and Hobbes Show Quotes

The following features quotes from the characters of The Calvin and Hobbes Show some have already appeared in episode transcripts, while others will be in future episodes.

Calvin

 * Alright! 6:23! A new record!
 * My name is Calvin, Calvin the Bold to be exact. Call me that or else.
 * Shut up Susie! Nobody cares about you!
 * Nobody cares what you think Hobbes!
 * I am the greatest person alive!
 * Living in a Dictatorship is better than a boring ol' Democracy.
 * Deal with it!
 * Zzz (Wakes up) Did I miss something that probably wasn't important?
 * Um, victory is ours?
 * I'LL TAKE THIS TO JUDGE JUDY IF I HAVE TO!
 * Goodell is a fraud Hobbes.
 * Oh come on! I totally beat that chump by a mile!
 * Nobody cares!
 * That's gross! You should be put in an insane aslyum!
 * Hey! Nobody is allowed to take over the world but me!
 * "Cause I'm Calvin! That's why!
 * Shut up Hobbes! They're going to find out about my scheme with you opening your big mouth!
 * HEY! LEGGO!
 * Hobbes you idiot! What did you do now?!
 * Oh hello there! My name is uh, Not Calvin. Yeah! Not Calvin!
 * More to be added

Hobbes

 * Oh boy, another journey into Doomsday 9000 with the loon.
 * Tuna is love, tuna is life.
 * Tigers are far more intellegent than humans. Plus we've been around longer.
 * You need professional help, like right now.
 * Why must you always get us into these deadly situations?
 * He did it again... Which doesn't surprise me one bit...
 * More to be added

Dad

 * Making movies build character!
 * CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * There's nothing better than going on a nice bike ride at 4 in the morning with sub zero temperatures
 * I need to get that kid to a psychologist.
 * More to be added

Mom

 * I don't even want to know what he did this time...
 * Well, back to the library to get more child pyschology books...
 * More to be added

Susie

 * That's forgery Calvin!
 * Everyday I pray that he gets expelled, even though I know it won't happen.
 * Calvin you idiot!
 * Calvin, that has to be, the most dumbest, idiotic, ludacristic rant I've ever heard out of you.
 * More to be added

Moe

 * Who you callin' a chump twinky?
 * Oh boy! Its twinky beating time!
 * I do enjoy a knucle twinky sandwhich.
 * Stop outsmarting me twinky! I'm supposed to beat you always!
 * More to be added...

Miss Wormwood

 * Five more years until retirement, five more years until retirement....
 * I need to ask for a raise for having to put up with him.
 * I'm pretty sure every other 1st grade teacher doesn't have to go through with this...
 * More to be added

Principal Spittle

 * CCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
 * Well well well, there's the very very very late bus.
 * Oh! Mr. Superintendent!
 * Either I need to quit, or try and get a promotion.
 * More to be added

Rosalyn

 * I sure hope I'm not the only babysitter in the world that has to put up with stuff like this...
 * More to be added

Dr. Scientist

 * It is I! The great Dr. Scientist!
 * Enjoy your freedom while it lasts, because I! Dr. Murdoch Scientist! Will soon be ruler of this planet! BWAHAHAHAHA!
 * More to be added

The Superintendent

 * SSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
 * I wish I could send him off to a siberian gulag...
 * If only if I had a good excuse to expel him.
 * Ah, peace and quiet, for once in my life, without having to deal with that kid, and now I'm probably just going to jinx myself...
 * More to be added.