The Superintendent (episode) Transcript

(Episode starts with Principal Spittle sleeping at his desk at his home, and the phone rings)

Principal Spittle: What? Huh? Who? (Picks up the phone) Hello?

Superintendent: Ah! Spittle! Glad you picked up.

(Principal Spittle gulps)

Principal Spittle: Oh! Hello Mr. Superintendent! What can I do for you?

Superintendent: Well you see Spittle, I've been doing some reviewing of files, and I've noticed that your school has more incident reports, discipline reports, lawsuits, etc. then any other school in the district!

Principal Spittle: We've only had ONE lawsuit that we won, which was filed by the only kid that causes problems in the school. You know, Calvin.

Superintendent: Calvin... that name sounds familiar... oh yeah! He was the Noodle Incident kid! Ugh... But anyways, I've decided I'm going to visit your school tomorrow morning! Good night! (Hangs up)

Principal Spittle: Tomorrow?! How can I keep him happy and not have Calvin do anything crazy at the same time! That's literally impossible! (Sighs) Maybe if I get some sleep, I can think of something.

(Falls asleep and cuts to next morning, he wakes up to see his alarm clock saying 7:45 am)

Principal Spittle: 7:45?! I'M DONE FOR! (Hurrys up and gets dressed and runs to his car and drives off)

(Cuts to Calvin and Hobbes waiting for the bus, Calvin has an evil grin on his face)

Hobbes: What's with the grin?

Calvin: Oh nothing, I'm just in a good mood today that's all.

Hobbes: Right...

Calvin: Oh! There's the bus! See ya Hobbes! (Hops on bus and drives off)

Hobbes: He's up to something, I just know it...

(Cuts to Calvin going to the back of the bus, and starts getting eggs and water balloons among other things out of his backpack, when he notices Principal Spittle's driving behind them)

Calvin: Well, if it isn't Spithead! That gives me a great idea!

(Calvin opens the emergency exit in the back very slightly so nobody notices and throws two eggs at Principal Spittle's car, causing him to swerve out of control and nearly hits a tree, screaming)

Principal Spittle: Whoever did that, Will. Get. Expelled. (Drives off)

(Cuts to the Superintendent greeting kids outside the school as they enter)

Superintendent: Where on earth is Spittle, he's usually here early in the morning...

(Principal Spittle runs up)

Superintendent: Ah Spittle! There you are! What took you so long?

Principal Spittle: Well you see-

(Principal Spittle gets cut off as a bus comes into the school driving eradicly, crashing through the sign that says Bill Watterson Elementary School, and nearly hit the school enterance, several kids run out of the bus screaming)

Principal Spittle: Oh boy...

Superintendent: SPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Principal Spittle: Mr. Superintendent I can explain...

Superintendent: Explain what Spittle?!

Principal Spittle: Uh.. Why don't we just go inside?

Supreintendent: HOW?! ONE OF YOUR SCHOOL'S BUSSES NEARLY CAUSED A MASSIVE TRAGEDY!

Principal Spittle: Okay yes it was dangerous, but-

Bus Driver: I SWEAR! THAT KID IS TOAST WHEN I FIND HIM!

Superintendent: Which is?

Bus Driver: I don't know! Some kid with spiky blonde hair!

Principal Spittle: Calvin...