Calvin World Transcript

Scene 1: The plan
(Episode starts with Mr. Grayson reading his newspaper, and Calvin walks up to him.)

Calvin: Dad, how come Disney Theme Parks use the term "Happiest Place on Earth" when there's always unhappy stuff you have to deal with?

Mr. Grayson: Because all these big companies will do anything to steal tens of thousands of dollars from families.

Calvin: I'm not great at math, but I'm pretty sure Disney doesn't charge you over ten grand just to get into one of their parks.

Mr. Grayson: You would be surprised to see what kind of stuff theme parks pull these days.

(Cuts to Calvin's room, with Calvin drawing at his desk, while Hobbes is reading a comic book)

Hobbes: Are you drawing one of your "Dinosaurs in Rockets" drawings again?

Calvin: Nope, I'm drawing a blue print for my theme park.

Hobbes: Your what?

Calvin: I present to you, Calvin World! (Shows drawing to Hobbes) The greatest place in the universe! With lots of anger and frustration as well due to stuff you have to deal at regular theme parks!

Hobbes: I think you need to work on your slogan.

Calvin: What?! Its the truth!

Hobbes: These rides seems pretty stupid as well... Even dangerous...

Calvin: WHAT?! There is nothing wrong with this!

Hobbes: So there's nothing wrong with a ride called "Lava Volcano Ride of Doom" featuring real Lava and Volacano eruptions... You'll get your pants sued off!

Calvin: Nah, I'll make it so its impossible to sue me, then I'l be the one raking in the dough!

(Hobbes rolls his eyes)

Hobbes: And where do you think your even going to put this "Amusement Park"?

Calvin: Well, I was thinking of putting it in my backyard.

Hobbes: There's no way a full fledged amusement park you want to make will all fit in your backyard.

Calvin: Well I guess your right...

Hobbes: So where would we put it?

Calvin: I don't know yet. I need to get all the rides first though. (Goes into the closet)

Hobbes: Where are you going to get rides from?

Calvin: (Pulls out box) Simple, we're going to use the box to fly to abandoned amusement parks, take whatever we can get with my new invention I've been working on, then I can restore them back to its former glory!

Hobbes: Oh well, have fun.

Calvin: Oh no you don't! Your coming with me!

Hobbes: What?! Why do I have to go?!

Calvin: Because you need to help me, a six-year-old can't do menial labor by himself you know. Besides, the box will be in airplane mode! So there's nothing to whine about!

Hobbes: Well, if its just flying, then I'm okay with it.

Calvin: Good, now hop in.

(Hobbes sighs and hops in the box)

Calvin: Well Hobbes, off we go-oo! (Presses a button and the box flies out of Calvin's bedroom and into the sky.

Hobbes: So where are we going first?

Calvin: Uh... Good question...

(Hobbes rolls his eyes)

Scene 2: The rides
(Calvin and Hobbes land at Coney Island.)

Calvin: Alright. Our first ride to steal is the Wonder Wheel.

Hobbes: The Wonder Wheel? Isn't that forgery?

Calvin: No,I'll rename it the Calvin Wheel.

Hobbes: How original. Now how are we going to get it home?

(Calvin pulls out his Hypercube and sucks the Wonder Wheel inside.)

Calvin: Next, we'll take the Cyclone roller coaster, and rename it the Tornado.

(The Hypercube sucks the Cyclone in. Calvin and Hobbes get in the box and fly off. They land at Riverside in Colorado.)

Hobbes: What are we going to get from here?

Calvin: I don't know, be useful and try and help me find something good.

Hobbes: I'm pretty sure our definitions of "good" are going to be different...

Calvin: Shut up and help me look.

(Calvin and Hobbes look around and stop at the ride "Wild Chipmunk")

Calvin: Great! We'll take this!

(The Wild Chipmunk gets sucked into the Hypercube. Next, we see a montage of Calvin and Hobbes taking certain theme park rides, and sucking them into the Hypercube. Cut to an inside of a house. A couple are watching TV. The TV changes to a commercial for Calvin World)

Calvin (on TV): Are you tired of your boring life?

Woman: Yes.

Calvin (on TV): Do you wish for some excitement in your life?

Woman: Yes.

Calvin (on TV): If so, check out CALVIN WORLD!!!! The greatest theme park since Disneyland opened in 1955!

Woman: Wow! Cool! Bill, there's an ad for Calvin World, let's go!

(The woman sees Bill has fallen asleep. The woman groans.)

Scene 3: The park
(A family walks up to the front gates.)

Ticket Vendor: Hello, welcome to Calvin World. How many tickets, please?

Man: Two adults and two kids, please.

Ticket Vendor: OK, that'll be fifty-five dollars.

(The Man swipes his credit card in the machine and they are allowed entry. Calvin and Hobbes watch from the office in the world.)

Calvin: Wow. What a great turnout today!

Hobbes: I'm surprised people got in despite the fifty-five dollar price to get in.

Calvin: Nonsense! The good people of Providence need a theme park!

Hobbes: I figured they'd just go to the Legoland Discovery Center.

Calvin: I mean yeah, they could. But they need a BIG theme park for all to enjoy! Along with going through other theme park struggles of course.

Hobbes: Right...

(Duplicate Worker Comes In)

Duplicate Worker: Here's the $819,000 we've made so far boss. (Hands Calvin a couple bags of money and leaves)

Calvin: Hot DOG! I'm RICH! FILTHY STINKIN' RICH!

Hobbes: Hey, you better share some of that with me to.

Calvin: Fine... But there'll be more money for you, we've only been open 3 hours and I've gotten so much cash money! I should've thought of this years ago! Nothing could possibly go wrong!

Hobbes: I doubt it...

(Cuts to people getting on the Calvin Carsouel. It starts and goes dangerously fast, and people start getting flung on it due to its speed)

Person: OW! WHAT THE HECK?! LET'S GO, FAMILY, WE'RE LEAVING!

(Cuts to Calvin's office.)

Hobbes: Hey, looks like some of your customers are leaving.

Calvin: WHAT???

(Calvin gets on an intercom.)

Calvin: HEY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

The Whole Town: HOME!

Calvin: NONSENSE! YOU'LL STAY HERE, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!

(The town groans and separates.)

Scene 4: The Inspector
(Cut to the next year, where an inspector enters Calvin's office.)

Inspector: Hello. I'm the Inspector you called, Mr. Grayson.

Calvin: Yes, sir! I called you to make sure my theme park will stay in business!

Inspector: OK...

(Cut to the Wonder Wheel)

Inspector: Well, I inspected this before. It looks safe.

Calvin: Oh, yeah. (secretly presses a button to disband the Wonder Wheel and roll down a track.)

Inspector: WHAT IS THIS?

Calvin: The Calvin Wheel.

Inspector: I believe that ride is now a safety violation.

Calvin: No biggie. The rest of my rides are totally safe. Come here. The Tornado! One of the safest rollercoasters in town!

Inspector: Really?

Calvin: Yeah. Let's operate it.

(The roller coaster starts up and goes extremely fast. It then goes ove a hill with a gap and crashes, collapsing the ride.)

Inspector: My god, this is one major safety violation!

Calvin: Oh, come on. How about the Calvin Carousel? I put some test dummies there to test how safe it is.

Inspector: OK.

(The Calvin Carousel starts up, and all the test dummies fly off. One of them hits the Inspector.)

Inspector: OW!!! That's it. There are now three safety violations! This Calvin World is now being shut down PERMANENTLY!

Calvin: SHUT UP, YOU MORON! THIS PARK IS PERFECTLY SAFE! (hurls cotton candy machine at the Inspector.)

Inspector: OK, just for that, you pay me 819,000 dollars.

Calvin: WHAT? THAT'S ALL THE MONEY I'VE EARNED! YOU'RE A BAD MAN! A BAD, BAD, MAN!

(Cuts to Calvin World being demolished by a construction crew.)

Hobbes: Well, it was fun while it lasted. I guess...

Calvin: Pah! I shouldn't of even bothered! Now all my hard work has gone to waste because of the idiots in our society...

Hobbes: "Hard work"?

Calvin: Oh well, I guess I've learned a lesson from all this.

Hobbes: That 6-year olds aren't capable of running theme parks?

Calvin: Oh please, my park lasted far longer than what some other 6-year old could do.

Hobbes: So what did you learn?

Calvin: That I should've gone into buisness with someone else. I present to you... Disney Island! (Shows Hobbes a blueprint) Cmon! Lets head down to the Disney HQ right now! Lets get a contract in the works!

(Hobbes sighs)

Voice cast for All Aboard the Calvin Express
Tom Kenny as Calvin Grayson/Judge Rodgers

Owen Wilson as Hobbes/Juror

Scarlett Johansson as Mrs. Grayson

Special Guest Voice: Bradley Cooper as the Police Chief

Special Guest Voice: Chris Pine as the Engineer

Voice cast for Calvin World
Tom Kenny as Calvin Grayson/Man/Duplicate Worker

Owen Wilson as Hobbes Grayson/Ticket Vendor

Paul Rudd as Tom Grayson/Person

Scarlett Johansson as Woman

Special Guest Voice: Bobby Cannavale as the Inspector