It Will Build Character Transcript

Scene 1: The camping trip
(Calvin is reading a comic book. Hobbes is watching Power Rangers Jungle Fury. Mom is writing a letter. Then a duffel bag flies into the room. The three look up.)

Calvin: What was that?

(Two more duffel bags fly into the room, followed by three fishing rods, a bag with the word TENT, and a cooler.)

Mom: Uh-oh.

(Dad enters in camping gear.)

Dad: Everyone ready to go camping?

Calvin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOBBES! MOM! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! CALL THE HUMANE SOCIETY! WE'RE RUNNING TO ORLANDO!

Dad: C'mon everyone! Let's hit the road!

Mom: Actually, dear, I have to stay here.

Calvin: TRAITOR!

Mom: I have to clean for some guests I invited over tomorrow.

Calvin: BENEDICT MOTHER!

Dad: Well, can it wait? Reschedule or something.

Calvin: WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!

Mom: I can't.

Calvin: DESERTER!

Dad: Why not?

Calvin: WEASEL!

Mom: Because he's your boss.

Calvin: SNEAK!

Dad: OK. Have fun scrubbing.

(Mom grins smugly at Calvin, who glares at her.)

Dad: Well, looks like we have some real father-son time now, huh, Calvin?

Calvin (through gritted teeth): Gee, Dad, that's swell.

Scene 2: The stowaway
(Dad throws all the stuff into the car, and Calvin throws the Hypercube in the car. Socrates and Andy are watching them.)

Andy: What's going on?

Calvin: We're going on another one of Dad's torture weeks to an unknown location.

Socrates: Where is it?

Calvin: You've heard of Dante's Inferno, right?

(Andy and Socrates nod.)

Calvin: That's where we're going.

Andy: Oof! Stinks to be you.

Dad: Come on, Calvin! We're leaving now!

Calvin: Bye, Andy. Bye, Socrates.