Cal Wars Transcript

(Theme song plays)

Scene 1:The Jacobson household
(Calvin,Hobbes,Andy,Socrates,Zoe,Sherman,and MTM are watching Star Wars)

Calvin:Gosh,Star Wars is the greatest movie of all time

MTM:I agree. If I was in Star Wars, I would most likely be R2-D2. Hey, I am a robot. Ain't I?

Hobbes:I would be like a Chewbacca. Someone ferocious has to be something ferocious.

Andy:I'd see myself as Han Solo.

Calvin:I'd like to be...

(The power goes out as Calvin finishes his sentence)

Calvin:Luke Skywalker.

Zoe:Since the power is out, Calvin, can you tell the story of Star Wars?

Calvin:I guess I could.

(Everyone cheers)

Scene 2:Tatooine
Calvin:Like this....There once was a boy named Calvin Skywalker. He lived on Tatooine with his Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru(Scene cuts to a Tatooine landscape).

Andy: Hold on, Calvin Skywalker?

Calvin: I wanted to be Luke, right?

Andy: Yeah..(Cut back to Tatooine, at a robot shop

Calvin Skywalker: Yo, Uncle Owen, can we get the Hamster protocol and the astromech?

Owen: Sure Calvin. Go to your room. I put it there.

Beru: Don't be late for dinner!(Scene cuts back to the Jacobsons)

Calvin:The Hamster protocol and the Astromech were named S-3P0 and M2-T2. They had come from the Tantive IV, which held Princess Zoe Organa. Zoe was soon captured by Darth Father.(Scene cuts to the Skywalker household)

Calvin Skywalker: So who are you droids?

S-3P0:I am S-3P0, hamster-cyborg relation. And this is R2-D2. We have been with Socrates Republic until it folded.

Calvin:Have you been in any battles?

S-3P0:Yes! Just a few times.

Calvin:Cool! I should head out for my evening landspeeder drive. See ya!

(Calvin heads out on his landspeeder. Suddenly he stops)

Calvin:What was that?

(Moesken Raiders come out and hurt Calvin. Socrates-Wan Kenobi appears and the Moesken Raiders run away)

Socrates:Hello, young one.

Calvin:Who are you?

Socrates:I am in the name of Socrates-Wan Kenobi, but, call me Socrates.

(Later at the house)

Socrates:So you haven't been out of this place before?

Calvin: Nuh-uh.

Socrates:Get in the landspeeder. I will take you to a cantina.

Calvin: I can't drink.

Socrates: It's a restaurant too. Just order some fries.

S-3P0:Where is it?

Socrates:Mos Eisley.

Scene 3:Mos Eisley Cantina
(Calvin and Socrates enter the cantina)

Socrates:I know there's a smuggler here.

Calvin:Who is it?

Socrates: Andy Solo and Hobbesbacca.

Calvin: Oh no...

Socrates: S-3PO, M2-T2, they don't accept cyborgs here, so heed it!

(They enter, leaving S-3P0 and M2-T2 behind)

Socrates:There they are.

Calvin:Well let's see them.

(They go to their table)

Andy: Socrates?

Socrates: Hello, An.

Andy Solo:I was expecting you,Socrates-Wan.

Socrates:Call me Socrates

Hobbesbacca:WE SHOULD GO ITS 730 HOURS

Andy:You're right Hobbesie,,we gotta go.

(Scene Cuts to the Milennium Falcon)

R2-D2:Beep Bo Bleep.

C-3P0:He says how will we get out of this wasteland in that?

Andy:It's huge. We'll get to Alderaan in a second.

(5 hours later)

Calvin:I thought you said we were going to be there in a second.

Hobbesbacca:ITS JUST A EXPRESSION, HUMAN

Andy:He says that it was an expression. Woah, ook at that moon.

Socrates:That's no moon. It's a SPACE STATION, YOU FOOL!

Andy:ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! I GET IT!

Socrates: That's where you are going.