Ye Olde Calvin Transcript

(Theme Song plays, title credits are shown)

Scene 1: The next get rich plan
(cuts to Hobbes resting under a tree)

Hobbes: (Sleepy) Oh, tuna, gorgeous tuna, come closer to me, I need to eat you.

Calvin: Hey Hobbes.

Hobbes: Oh tuna, let me eat you.

Calvin: WAKE UP YOU FLEA BAG!

Hobbes: (Jumps up) Alright, I'm awake. What now?

(Calvin throws the Time Machine in front of Hobbes.)

Hobbes: Oh no.

Calvin: Relax! We're going to the Middle Ages Hobbes!

Hobbes: The Middle Ages?! No way. Nope, I'm not going to nearly get killed again.

Calvin: I brought Tuna.

Hobbes: On second thought, I'm in! (Hops in box)

Calvin: Good, put on your vortex goggles, and off we go! (Pushes button and Calvin and Hobbes go zooming through space and time.)

Hobbes: Why are we going to the Middle Ages anyways?

Calvin: So I can take over the kingdom, and that way I can keep my tyrannical intentions in place forever so when we come back, I will be king of the world!

Hobbes: (Rolls eyes) What a brilliant idea...

Calvin: I know right? That's because I'm a genius.

Hobbes: When can we have some of that Tuna?

Calvin: When we land in a minute you sissy, be useful and help me steer this thing to a safe landing.

(Calvin and Hobbes arrive to the Middle Ages, and swing through a market crashing through almost every stand, and crashing through more objects, and end up crashing into the moat at the castle, and then bricks fall on them after they get on land from the damage the castle made.)

Calvin: Nice steering John Wes Townley.

Hobbes: How is this MY fault? Your the one who always gets us almost killed.

Calvin: We won't get killed! There's no dinosaurs here! What's the worst that could happen?!

Scene 2: The knight
(Cuts to Calvin and Hobbes sitting in a dungeon cell)

Hobbes: Apparently being put on trial for witchcraft.

Calvin: Why us?! We aren't witches! Only girls are witches! Lock up and torture them to death! Not males and tigers!

Hobbes: We're lucky, since the Judge decided to lock us up in here rather than kill us since your only 6 and a male.

Calvin: We got to get out of here, somehow.

(A large crash is heard, and two guards run through screaming)

Guard 1: It's him!

Guard 2: Run away run away!

Calvin: Is that the torturer?

Hobbes: I highly doubt those guards would be scared of a torturer.

?: The talking tiger is correct. (Opens cell door.)

Calvin: Who are you?

Sir Gallahad: They call me Sir Gallahad, I am a knight that is trying to overthrow this corrupt kingdom.

Calvin: Hey! I want to overthrow this king- (Gets Cut off by Hobbes)

Hobbes: We'd be more than willing to help you so then you can be king. (Winks at Calvin, Calvin winks back after thinking for a moment.)

Sir Gallahad: Excellent. Now we need a way to overthrow the queen and take this kingdom over.

Calvin: Good thing I got the Time Machine, I'll put it in autopilot, that way people will get her and think she is a witch!

Sir Gallahad: Excellent idea young sir, I shall have to make you my second in command when I take over.

Scene 3: The parade
(Cuts to the Queen waving to a crowd in a parade, with the 3 hiding in an alley way.)

Sir Gallahad: Is the plan set?

Calvin: Yep, here goes nothing. (Lets time Machine go, and lands at the queen, the queen kicks it, and then the box flies back toward Calvin.)

Commoner: THE QUEEN IS A WITCH! TAKE HER TO THE COURT! (Angry mob comes at the queen.)

(Cuts to the Courthouse)

Judge: So while you have been found Guilty of Witchcraft, due to your rank, I cannot execute you, so life in the dungeon shall fit. But who shall lead our kingdom?

Calvin: (Jumps up) I will! It shall be called the Kingdom of Cal- (Gets punched by Hobbes)

Sir Gallahad: I shall, your honor.

Judge: Then it is decided then. A parade honoring our new ruler shall be held right now! (Slams gavel)

Scene 4: The failure
(Shows Parade being held for Sir Gallahad)

Calvin: Thanks a lot you dingey flea bat, now I can't rule the world.

Hobbes: I was saving you, because people would wonder how you got out of the dungeon.

Calvin: Oh yeah, but wouldn't they notice you as well?

Hobbes: They think I was a jester dressed up as a tiger.

Calvin: Good grief. Well, I guess we should head home. (Hops in Time Machine, and heads off through time and space)

Hobbes: Maybe next time you should go back to the beginning of a dynasty and try and take over, since you weren't blood related to the royal family at all.

Calvin: Hey! That's it! I just need to look like I'm related to a royal family! That's it! I should've thought of that years ago!

(Hobbes groans as Calvin continues to talk as the episode fades to black. Calvin steps in front of the screen.)

Calvin:Where are you going? Get right back here,because the Calvin and Hobbes show will be right back.