The Boy Who Failed at Flying Transcript

Calvin: Hey, you're back! Well, guess what? The Calvin and Hobbes Show has returned!

Scene 1: The first attempts
(Episode Starts with Calvin in his Stupendous Man costume near a cliff)

Hobbes: (Walks up) What are you doing?

Calvin: Stupendous Man sees the cry for help, and he makes the mad dash and takes off!

(Calvin runs off the cliff, and falls)

Calvin: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Hobbes: I knew that wouldn't work...

Calvin: Hobbes, do me a favor and get me some plastic bird wings while I climb out would ya?

Hobbes: Why?

Calvin: I'm trying to become the first human to fly, duh.

Hobbes: (Rolls eyes) Wow, what a great idea...

(Minutes later, Hobbes comes and tapes Calvin's plastic bird wings on.)

Calvin: Alright. Here we go!

(Calvin gets a running start, and jumps off the cliff.)

Calvin: AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!

(We hear a loud crash. Calvin has fallen.)

Hobbes: That did not work.

Calvin: You think?

(Calvin climbs off of Mount Doom. He mimes punching Hobbes and runs inside)

Hobbes: It seems like this whole episode will be him failing.

(Calvin returns with the wagon with cardboard wings attached to it.)

Calvin: This time, I'm going to the top of the highest mountain in the forest that has a cliff. AKA, Perishable Mountain!

Hobbes: You're going there?

Calvin: Of course, you furball.

Hobbes: Your going to get yourself killed you know.

Calvin: Oh please, I'm indestructable! Nothing will ever happen to Calvin the Bold! He always prevails!

Hobbes: Yeah right.

Calvin: WHAT?

Hobbes: I said, Good Luck.

Calvin: Thank you...

(Cut to Hobbes resting by a tree. He hears a loud scream.)

Hobbes: I knew it...

(We see Calvin climbing up the hill. He has sticks in his hair, and he is covered with dirt.)

Hobbes: I knew it...

Calvin: Shut up, hairball.

Scene 2: The second attempts
(Calvin is dragging cardboard wings up the hill.)

Hobbes: What are the cardboard wings for?

Calvin: Flying, duh. I'm trying to do what Zach King did. Use cardboard wings.

Hobbes: Who the fridge is Zach King?

Calvin: He's a world famous internet magician. I saw his attempts on YouTube.

Hobbes: I know who Zach King is. I was tricking you. However, I know for a fact he uses digital editing to look like he's doing something.

Calvin: Oh, baloney! They're real and you know it.

Hobbes: You forgot to clap your hands, you know.

Calvin: Shut up. That's a freaking kids song. Just get me to fly.

Hobbes: You can try...

(Calvin puts on the wings, and Hobbes hoists him up.

Hobbes: Geez, these wings are heavy.

Calvin: JUST THROW ME OFF THE CLIFF!

(Hobbes throws Calvin off. Then Calvin is floating, and flies.)

Calvin: Yes... Yes... I'M FLYING! I'M FLYING! I'M FL-OOP!

(The wings take Calvin straight to some rocks.)

Calvin: OW! OOF! YEOW! HOBBES! YEEK! YIKES!

Hobbes: I should've seen that coming...

(Cuts to Hobbes resting at the hill when Calvin returns with even bigger and larger cardboard wings, a ramp, and the wagon)

Hobbes: What the-?

Calvin: I've tinkered with the wings, and I brought the wagon with me so I can have better air speed-

Hobbes: Aerodynamics

Calvin: Whatever...

(Calvin climbs up to the top of Perishable Mountain, and flies down the hill. The wagon tkes to the skies.)

Calvin: I did it! Hobbes! I did it!

Hobbes: I can't believe it! He really did it!

(The wagon floats to Calvin's parents' room window.)

Calvin: You're right! Oh, crabapples!

(Calvin jumps out of the wagon as the wagon hits the window and shatters it.)

Mr. Grayson (off screen): CALVIN! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THIS WINDOW?!

Calvin: Darn.

Scene 3: The third attempts
(Calvin is sitting in his room, and Hobbes is reading a comic book.)

Calvin: This is hopeless. I'll never learn to fly because of Dad's angry attitude!

Hobbes: Or maybe...

Calvin: Shut up and go get Dad's drone.

Hobbes: Are you nuts? He'll kill us!

Calvin: No, its a last resort, I'll meet you on the roof.

Hobbes: THE ROOF?! YOU'LL KILL YOURSELF FOR SURE!

Calvin: I will not! I'm careful! You just need to make sure how to fly a drone.

Hobbes: Well, I don't know how to drive a drone.

Calvin: Oh come on Hobbes! Its just like flying a remote control helicopter! Its not rocket science!

Hobbes: Fine... (Leaves)

(Cuts to Calvin and Hobbes on the roof, with the drone running, with Calvin's hands tapped to it.)

Hobbes: You still want to go out with this?

Calvin: Hobbes, I've never been so sure about anything, so get this flying, and I want you to control it to fly over the entire city, so all of Providence will see.

Hobbes: (Sarcastic) Oh boy, I can't wait to see this groundbreaking act...

Calvin: I know right? Onward!

(Hobbes starts controlling the drone, and it flys off with Calvin)

Calvin: IT WORKS! I'M FLYING!

(Cuts to Dad in his car)

Mr. Grayson: Ugh, what a day at work, I'm going to relax by using that drone I won at that auction.

(Cuts to Calvin in the air, with the drone starting to go down and then back up)

Calvin: Geez, I'm going to get killed at this rate! I need to get back home, I know that I can fly now.

(Cuts to Hobbes)

Hobbes: Calvin wants to come back? Oh well, guess if he wants to I will. (Controls Drone)

(Cuts back to Calvin on the drone, with is going down and then back up)

Calvin: Geez, Hobbes better get it home faster, or else-

(Drone stops running, and Calvin starts falling)

Calvin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(Calvin falls right onto Dad's car, while he is still driving, and he swerves and crashes into a tree)

Mr. Grayson: (Gets out of the car) What the- (Sees damage to the drone, car, and sees Calvin)

Calvin: Uh, hi Dad...

Mr. Grayson: CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Cuts back to Hobbes)

Hobbes: Well, it looks like Calvin is "grounded" for life. Heh heh...

Scene 4: The final attempt
Calvin: There's one last thing that I can do to fly.

Hobbes: What the heck will that be?

Calvin: You see that balloon stand, Hobbes?

Hobbes: Yeah.

Calvin: I need you to steal all balloons from there, and then I'll be all Curious George style crap, and fly to the top of the city.

Hobbes: Fine.

(Hobbes sneaks over to the balloon stand, and uses his switchblade to cut the balloons away. He then runs away. The balloon vendor turns around and is shocked to find all the balloons missing.)

Hobbes: OK, I have all the balloons.

Calvin: OK. Tie them around my arm.

Hobbes: Good luck.

Calvin: You're coming with me.

Hobbes: No, I'm not.

Calvin: Yes you are!

(Calvin drags Hobbes off the roof, and then they're flying over the city.)

Hobbes: You did it!

Calvin: I know! That's because I'm a geni-OH GOD!

(Calvin falls from the balloons into an intersection.)

Hobbes: CALVIN!

(Hobbes watches as Calvin gets hit by a car. It is Mr. Grayson's car.)

Hobbes: I gotta save him!

(Hobbes drops down as Mr. Grayson gets out of his car.)

Mr. Grayson: CALVIN! Oh my god! What were you doing in the road?

(Hobbes, in stuffed tiger form, falls on Mr. Grayson.)

Mr. Grayson: WERE YOU FLYING AGAIN???!!!

Calvin: Yes.

(Cut to Calvin in his room.)

Cast
Tom Kenny as Calvin Grayson

Owen Wilson as Hobbes Grayson

Paul Rudd as Mr. Grayson