Calvin to the Future Transcript

Calvin: Hey, you're back! Well guess what? The Calvin and Hobbes show has returned!

Scene 1: The plan
(Episode starts with Hobbes running away)

Hobbes: I gotta get outta here, I gotta get outta here... Why did I let him talk me into travelling into the future?

(A void continues to move closer to Hobbes)

Hobbes: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Hobbes wakes up, realizing it was a dream)

Hobbes: Phew, it was just a dream.

Calvin: Hey Hobbes.

Hobbes: GAH!

Calvin: Geez, why so jumpy?

Hobbes: Uh, nothing...

Calvin: Okay, good. Because I got good news!

Hobbes: The Supermarket is handing out free samples of Tuna?!

Calvin: What? Heck no. We're going to the future!

(Cuts to outside Calvin's House)

Hobbes: (OS) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(Cuts back to Calvin and Hobbes)

Calvin: Was that really necessary?

Hobbes: Yes, you and your cardboard box are bad news.

Calvin: What?! All we're going to do is steal an invention that doesn't exist yet, bring it back to the present, then I can become rich!

Hobbes: Aside the fact with you leading us on your dangerous escapades, do you not know the consequences of doing something like that?

Calvin: What? What's the worst that can happen?

Hobbes: Oh gee, I don't know, maybe, Time Paradoxes, causing the end of the world, etc,etc,etc.

Calvin: Your just a sissy, this will be a good thing.

Hobbes: How?

Calvin: If I'm rich, we'll buy the White House, then I'll be the President!

Hobbes: Yeah, because the people there are going to be stupid enough to take money from a tyrannical six year old...

Calvin: Look, once I become President, I promise to make tigers the offical animal, AND I'll throw in a lifetime supply of tuna.

Hobbes: Deal! (Hops in box)

Calvin: All right! Put on your vortex goggles and off we GO-OOOO! (Presses button and start flying through space and time)

Hobbes: So how far into the future are we going to go?

Calvin: I'd say about 100 years or so, since things will be more... futuristic in the future...

Hobbes: That sentence made no sense at all.

Calvin: Shut up, we're going to be there in a minute anyway so help me find where we can land this thing.

Scene 2: The future
(Calvin and Hobbes exit space and time and end up in the future as planned, but almost run into a flying car, and avoid it, but then they crash into a sign and crash into a tree, and fall into a pond)

Hobbes: Nice steering, Dale Doback.

Calvin: It wasn't my fault we haven't hit the car.

Hobbes: Actually it was...

Calvin: Shut up, you little furball. We need to find something to pretend to invent.

Hobbes: Can't you just sell the box?

Calvin: Think about it. Everyone else, except us, believe the box is a simple box.

Hobbes: True...

Calvin: If people actually had an IQ high enough to understand the fact that this is more than just a simple box, I would've been a billionare years ago!

Hobbes: Maybe its... nah. That's a stupid idea.

Calvin: Alright. Let's go on a hunt for that invention!

(Calvin and Hobbes tour the future, as 2112 by Rush plays.)

Salesman: Free tuna here!

Hobbes: Ooohh!! Free tuna!

(Hobbes takes a can and eats it, but spits it out.)

Hobbes: Bleaugh! This tuna is horrible!

Calvin: Never trust a hobo on a street.

Salesman 2: Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs here!

Calvin: YES!

(Calvin takes a box, but dumps it in the river when the eats it.)

Calvin: Oh, god! That was horrible!

Hobbes: Obviously they haven't changed in the past 100 years.

(Calvin glares at Hobbes)

Calvin: Shut up and lets figure out what we can pretend to invent. Hmm...

(Calvin looks inside a store and sees a double perambulated florgzipple.)

Calvin: Whoa! This looks cool! What is it?

Hobbes: It says a double perambulated florgzipple.

Calvin: Excellent!

(Calvin and Hobbes enter the store.)

Salesman 3: Hi, kid. Welcome to Isiah's Inventions. How may I help you?

Calvin: Hi. I'd like to buy that double perambulated florgzipple. How much will that cost?

Salesman 3: That? Oh, that's seven hundred and fifty million dollars.

Calvin: SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION???!!! I OUGHT TO SUE!!! I BET LEGOS IN THIS FUTURE COST 2000 DOLLARS FOR A TWENTY DOLLAR SET!!!

Scene 3: The ancestor
(Calvin and Hobbes walk out of the shop.)

Hobbes: Well, that was a disaster.

Calvin: I'll say! Seven hundred and fifty million dollars! Where are we going to find that money?

Hobbes: Maybe you can try talking to someone there. (points to a sign that says "Lincoln High School is up there.", which is a floating school.)

Calvin: Hobbes, that is ridiculous! No one at the school can help us, people who go to school are nerds!

(The school bell rings, and many kids fly out of the school with jetpacks.)

Calvin: Forget what I said earlier!

Hobbes: Look. Someone who looks exactly like you!

(Hobbes points to Calmanthe, who is talking on his phone)

Calmanthe: Mom, I'm coming home. Of course I won't stay to watch spacefootball practice. Hold on, there's someone waiting for me.

(Calvin looks at Calmanthe in excitement)

Calmanthe: Woah, a dude that looks almost exactly like me.

Calvin: Greetings there person who looks like me! My name is Calvin the Bold, I come from the year 2016 with my tiger here Hobbes. So got any inventions that will make me rich?

Calmanthe: Calvin the Bold... wait... your actually him from the past!

Calvin: Who me?

Calmanthe: Yeah! Your the one who caused World Wars 3 and 4 to break out.

Calvin: WHAT?!

Hobbes: That actually doesn't surprise me...

Calmanthe: We were lucky the US managed to put down both of them in less than a month.

Hobbes: Dang...

Calmanthe: But he also made some sport called... Calvinball I think it was... It was a pretty big thing for a while, until it was discovered that you rigged most of the games. Most of the teams quit and you went bankrupt and fled the country so you wouldn't be arrested for tax evasion.

Calvin: WHAT?! THERE'S NO WAY THIS COULD EVER HAPPEN TO ME! I DO NO WRONG!

(Calvin continues to rant, while Hobbes and Calmanthe look at each other)

Calmanthe: My anscestor was always like this wasn't he?

Hobbes: Well yes he-ANSCESTOR?!

Calvin: ANSCESTOR?! YOU MEAN I ACUTUALLY GOT MARRIED?! NO! THAT'T CAN'T BE TRUE! I VOWED TO NEVER MARRY!

Calmanthe: Yes you did. You, my great-great-great grandfather, married a Miss Susie Durkines.

Hobbes: You mean Susie Derkins?

Calmanthe: Uh, yeah.

Calvin: WHAT? I MARRIED SUSIE? SCREW YOU GOD!

Calmanthe: You did.

Hobbes: I knew it was meant to be! Woo woo!

Calvin: TAKE IT BACK!

(Calvin leaps at Hobbes and wrestles him.)

Calvin: TAKE IT BACK!

Hobbes: Where was the honeymoon?

Calvin: TAKE IT BACK!

Hobbes: Was I Best Tiger?

Calvin: TAKE IT BACK!!!

Calmanthe: Stop fighting! To answer your questions, The honeymoon was in the Bahamas, and you were named Best Tiger.

Hobbes: I knew it!

Calvin: Shut up, furball!

Calmanthe: Why are you here?

Calvin: We came to 2116 to steal an invention from this era and make it our own to be rich!

Calmanthe: I see. What were you trying to steal?

Calvin: A double perambulated florgzipple.

Calmanthe: OK. I think I know how to get some money.

Scene 4: The failure
(Calmanthe leads Calvin and Hobbes to his spacemansion.)

Calmanthe: Ah. Home sweet Grayson estate.

Calvin: Nice house.

Calmanthe: Thanks. My dad used to be a Calvinball player, captain of the New York A-Bombs, but he went into retirement after New York was bombed by...wait for it...A-bombs.

Hobbes: What a coincidence...

(Calvin, Hobbes, and Calmanthe walk in the house.)

Calmanthe: Mom, I'm home!

Mrs. Grayson (future): Hi, Calmanthe. Your weekly allowance is in your room.

Calmanthe: Thanks, Mom.

(Calvin, Hobbes and Calmanthe enter Calmanthe's room.)

Calmanthe: YES! Seven hundred and fifty million dollars! Now I can buy that double perambulated florgzipple!

Calvin: You're buying that too?

Calmanthe: Yeah, but for a different reason. I'm gonna sell it on iBay. There's a guy who buys all my stuff that I put on there. Guess he's a junk collector.

Calvin: Shall we go...

Calmanthe: To Isiah's Inventions?

Calvin and Calmanthe: YES!

(Both run out of the room. Hobbes follows. Cut to Isiah's Inventions.)

Salesman 3: Hi, welcome to Isiah's Inventions. Welcome back, Calmanthe. I see you've brought some friends.

Calmanthe: Yes, I did. I'd like to by a double perambulated florgzipple.

Salesman 3: That'll be seven hundred and fifty million dollars.

(Calmanthe hands him the money and the salesman hands him the invention. They take it outside.)

Calmanthe: Here you go, Calvin.

Calvin: Thanks.

(Calvin and Hobbes hop in the time machine before Salesman 3 stops them.)

Salesman 3: WAIT! What are you doing?

Calvin: Taking it to the present, duh.

Salesman 3: Did you read the sign? (points to a sign that says, no items taken into the present.)

Calvin: WHAT? I BET DONALD TRUMP'S GREAT GRANDSON PASSED THAT LAW! THIS IS TYRANNY!!!

(While Calvin rants, Hobbes takes the invention and gives it to Calmanthe.)

Hobbes: Here you go.

Calmanthe: Thanks. Have a safe trip!

(Hobbes presses the GO button that takes them into the present.)

Calvin: AND I DECLARE WAR ON...we're home?

Hobbes: Yeah. I returned the invention, and we left.

Calvin: YOU WHAT???!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!

(Calvin yells at Hobbes as the episode cuts to black.)

End Credits
 Voice Cast for Tuna Heist Tom Kenny as Calvin Grayson/Bailiff

Owen Wilson as Hobbes Grayson/Cop

Scarlett Johansson as Mrs. Grayson

Special Guest Voice: Robert Downey Jr. as Judge Lazarus

Special Guest Voice: Kevin James as Officer

Special Guest Voice: Nick Kroll as The Manager

Voice Cast for Calvin the the Future
Tom Kenny as Calvin/Salesman 1/Salesman 3

Owen Wilson as Hobbes/Salesman 2

Scarlett Johansson as Calmanthe's mother

Special Guest Voice: Eddie Redmayne as Calmanthe