Days of Calvin Transcript

Scene 1: The announcement
(Calvin and Hobbes are playing Calvinball outside.)

Calvin: I used the mallet of 1,000 forms! That means you have to go into the Electric Supernova!

Hobbes: Actually, that's in the opposite zone, so you have to go there.

Calvin: Fine.

(While Calvin is acting like he is being shocked, Hobbes picks up the Calvinball and hurls it at a pine tree.)

Hobbes: I WIN! I WIN! I HIT THE PINE TREE OF WINNING! HOBBES WINS NM TO MACC!

Calvin: Did you just make those scores up?

Hobbes: No.

(Mrs. Grayson walks outside.)

Mrs. Grayson: CALVIN! TIME FOR DINNER!

(Cut to Mr. Grayson pulling into the driveway.)

Mr. Grayson: Hoo boy, what a day.

(Mr. Grayson gets the mail.)

Mr. Grayson: Let's see, bills, bills, Lego catalog for Calvin, his Chewing magazine, Entertainment Weekly for Anna, HEY! This is addressed to me from NASCAR!

(Mr. Grayson walks inside.)

Mr. Grayson: Hi, Anna.

Mrs. Grayson: Hey, Tom.

Mr. Grayson: What's for dinner?

Mrs. Grayson: Well, Calvin wanted to try salmon tonight, so I got some from Dave's.

Mr. Grayson: I thought he hated salmon.

Mrs. Grayson: He says he likes it now, since his tiger introduced it to him.

Mr. Grayson: I think it's crazy that a tiger introduces our son to fish...

(Cut to the dinner table.)

Calvin: Thanks, Mom. You made something I enjoy.

Mrs. Grayson: You're welcome, Calvin. Now, let's all share a good thing that happened today. You first, Tom.

Mr. Grayson: No, I'd rather save mine for last. You go first, Calvin.

Calvin: OK. Moe got detention today, so I had extra time to play Calvinball, which Hobbes whooped my butt in.

Mr. Grayson: OK...How about you, Anna?

Mrs. Grayson: Well, I had the book club, and we're reading my favorite book, Tuesdays with Morrie.

Mr. Grayson: OK, best for last. Apparently, by boss sent me his tickets to the Daytona 500!

Calvin: REALLY! PACK YOUR BAGS, HOBBES! WE'RE GOING TO DAYTONA!!!!!

(Calvin runs out of the room.)

Mrs. Grayson: Well, someone's excited.

Scene 2: The scheme
Hobbes: Okay, I think we got most of our stuff together, did we forget anything?

Calvin: Nah, I'd say we have everything that we need. It'll be fun to race in the 500.

Hobbes: You mean watch the 500?

Calvin: Who said I was going to watch it?

Hobbes: Oh dear gosh please no...

Calvin: That's right Hobbes! We're going to RACE in the Daytona 500! And then once we win, we'll get over a million bucks! And we'll be locked into the Playoffs, so then we'll have an excuse to go to every race for the rest of the year!

Hobbes: Why do I have to help?

Calvin: Because I said so, and I'll demote you to Club Swabber in G.R.O.S.S. if you don't.

Hobbes: Fine....

Calvin: OH, DAD! I HAVE MY BAGS PACKED!

Mr. Grayson: Um, Calvin, the event isn't until next week.

Calvin: WHAT? A WHOLE WEEK OF WORTHLESS WAITING?

Mr. Grayson: Anticipation builds character.

Calvin: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scene 3: The trip
(Cuts to the plane landing, and Calvin's family leaving the plane.)

Calvin: Finally! I thought that flight would never end!

Mr. Grayson: Yes, because being on a flight with a hyperactive six-year-old made the flight feel five times longer...

Mrs. Grayson: Well at least we're here now right? Mr. Grayson: I suppose...

Mrs. Grayson: We should get to the hotel, we all need some rest after today.

Mr. Grayson: Definitely. It'll be nice to kick back and relax tonight.

(Cuts to the hotel room, an alarm clock reads 9:21 PM. Calvin's Parents have already fallen asleep)

Calvin: Geez, I didn't think they were THAT tired...

Hobbes: They probably wouldn't be as tired if they didn't have to put up with you.

Calvin: Oh shut up furball. Now let's discuss our plan on how we're going to race in the Daytona 500.

Hobbes: Oh boy...

(coming soon)

Scene 4: The racetrack
(The shuttle arrives at the track, everyone gets off, Calvin and Hobbes sneak off unnoticed into the garage area)

Hobbes: Okay, so we have duplicates of ourselves back at the hotel, so that shouldn't be an issue, and we managed to get to the track without anyone thinking we came alone. So far so good I guess.

Calvin: Yep, that's because I'm a genius.

(Hobbes rolls his eyes)

(Calvin and Hobbes look through the entire garage area, and then they end up going to the haulers, and eventually reach Kyle Busch's.)

Calvin: Alright Hobbes, help me get Kyle Busch's backup car out of here, and then we'll take it to one of the empty garages and start working on it.

Hobbes: And how do you think I can help you with that?

Calvin: Get me up to the part where the car is! Not that hard!

Hobbes: Actually it is...

(Hobbes attempts to get Calvin up to it, but fails)

Hobbes: Oh well, we tried.

Calvin: Not so fast, there's got to be SOME car lying around-

(Calvin notices Kyle Busch walking through the garage)

Calvin: Oh my gosh! It's Kyle Busch! HEY KYLE CAN I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

Hobbes: I don't think he heard you Calvin.

(Calvin notices a golf cart nearby and jumps in it and drives off)

Hobbes: I'll just go find another car for him, because I know that's what will be expected of me...

(Cuts to Hobbes looking around)

(More coming soon)

Scene 5: The start of the race
(Coming soon)

Scene 6: The first lap
(The pace car pulls off pit road, and the flagman starts waving the green flag. The Distance by Cake plays in the background.)

Bob Costas: And here comes the green flag!

Darrell Waltrip: Boogity, boogity, boogity! Lets go racing boys!

(Calvin slams on the gas, and Hobbes tries to control it, but ends up ramming into the back of D.J. Kennington, who spins out, collecting a few other cars)

Mike Joy: Oh, trouble! D.J. Kennington and a 2, 3 more cars get involved!

Hobbes: Nice work Richard Petty, we didn't even get through the first turn and you already caused a wreck!

Calvin: It was your fault too you moron! This isn't going to work. Drive it to the pits and we'll tell the crew to get me some stilts to help me do this by myself.

Hobbes: Oh, so now I'm not of service to you?

Calvin: No, you're going to be in the car with me still, but I don't know as what...

(TBD)

(Shows a montage of the race, with Calvin and Hobbes passing cars, and eventually comes down to 2 to go)

Mike Joy: Two laps to go in the Daytona 500! Chase Elliot leads! Followed by Brad Keslowski, Kyle Busch, Kyle Larson, and the rookie Calvin the Bold!

Jeff Gordon: Imagine if Calvin the Bold could pull it off here today, that would be the upset of the century!

Calvin: TELL LARSON TO GET OUTTA MY WAY! THIS IS MY RACE TO WIN!

Hobbes: Did you ever consider drafting him and then slingshot?

Calvin: Oh, I didn't think about that...

(Hobbes rolls his eyes)

Calvin: Who's behind me?

Hobbes: Uh... Austin Dillon.

Calvin: Oh heck no! Not that stupid rich kid!

Hobbes: He's slingshotting you...

Calvin: NOT ON MY WATCH! RICH KID AT 3 'O CLOCK!

(Calvin swerves in front of Austin Dillon, nearly wrecking him, but Calvin manages to use Dillon's draft to catch up to Elliot as they enter the backstretch)

Calvin: Alright, 39 people passed, one to go...

(Calvin side drafts Eliott, which causes him to get loose, and allows Calvin to pass him, with more cars in the 2nd lane coming as well)

Calvin: Ha! Ha! Just got to get through one more lap and I'll win this thing!

Hobbes: That reminds me, do we have enough gas?

Calvin: Uh... (Looks and sees the fuel at empty)

Hobbes: We don't, do we?

(Calvin's car suddenly slows down, and several cars swerve to avoid him, causing a big wreck. Denny Hamlin gets out of his car.)

Hamlin: WHAT THE HECK! SOME IDIOTIC DRIVER STOPPED!!!

(Jimmie Johnson also exits his car.)

Johnson: WHAT GIVES!!

Bob Costas: It seems like the Car 85 has stopped causing a riot on the track! OH MY GOD!!! Kyle Larson is climbing on the fence and...WHAT? He jumps on the roof of the 85!

Calvin: WHAT WAS THAT??

Hobbes: Hold on, I'll check.

(Hobbes looks out the window and sees several drivers beating up the car.)

Hobbes: A whole bunch of NASCAR drivers are beating up your car.

Calvin: These guys are hacks, they obviously are power hungry.

Hobbes: So are you...

Calvin: Says who?

Hobbes: Says the guy who saw the failure of taking over a kingdom, and the time you concocted the "perfect plan" to take over the world, and then there was the Noodle Incident...

Calvin: SHUT UP ABOUT THAT! IT'S ANCIENT HISTORY!!! BESIDES, I WAS FRAMED!

(Calvin managed to get the car running off, and several drivers continue to chace after him)

Harvick: He's getting away! Don't let him get back to the pits!

Larson: He'll never get back, he's going at like 3 miles an hour!

David Hoots: Display the red, stop all the cars, and would someone try and get those drivers to calm down?

(Cuts to the car in the pit box, several drivers are surrounding Calvin, with officials trying to get them away)

Hobbes: I think its safe to say that you're now the most hated driver in NASCAR....

Calvin: Shut up... They know nothing! Alright, I want my car fixed now ASAP!

Crew Member: Uh Calvin, you do realize you're aren't allowed to work on the car during a red flag right?

Calvin: WHAT?! Since when?!

Crew Member: Uh, a very long time actually. We'll have to wait until the yellow flag comes out, then we got six minutes to get the car fixed up or else we'll be done for the day...

Calvin: WELL THEN GET EVERYTHING WE NEED SO WE CAN FIX THE CAR AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE! I WANT THAT MILLION DOLLAR PAYDAY!

Crew Member: Relax Calvin, we're working on that as we speak.

Calvin: Good! Or else it'll be your guys' fault when I don't win!

Hobbes: Because you can do no wrong...

TBD

Scene 7: The epic crash
(coming soon)

(The race restarts once again, and Calvin is plowing his way through the field at an agressive rate)

David Hoots: Black Flag the 85, jumping the restart, and improper lane startage.

(Hobbes is informed by Calivn's Crew Cheif of the issue, Calvin is now in 3rd as the white flag waves)

Mike Joy: White flag in the air! Who's going to make the move for the win first?!

Hobbes: Erm Calvin, we're being black flagged...

Calvin: WHAT?! WHAT FOR?!

Hobbes: Uh, a number of things actually...

Calvin: NO WAY! NO WAY RIGGEDCAR IS TAKING THIS FROM ME!

Hobbes: Calvin, please....

(Going into turns 3 and 4, Austin Dillon and Alex Bowman are side by side for the win, when Calvin attempts to burst his way through, which almost works, except it causes the whole field to wreck, and caused Calvin to get airborne and flips around and crosses the finish on his roof)

(Calvin busts out of his car almost immediately)

Calvin: DID I WIN?! DID I WIN?!

Announcer: And the race has just been declared official! Kyle Busch has won the 60th Running of the Daytona 500!

Calvin: WHAT?! I DIDN'T WIN?! RIGGED! EVEN THOUGH MY FAVORITE DRIVER WON! RIGGED!

(Hobbes rolls his eyes)

Scene 8: The meeting
(Cuts to Calvin, Hobbes, and his parents in a meeting with the NASCAR executive)

NASCAR Executive: Alright, where do I even begin... Do you even know what you DID today?

Calvin: Yeah, I got cheated out of winning the Daytona 500!

(Hobbes facepalms)

NASCAR Executive: NO YOU WEREN'T! YOU COMPLETLY RUINED THE RACE!

Calvin: HOW?! You're one of the idiots that cost me the win!

NASCAR Executive: Well you shouldn't of even been racing in the first place! How on earth does a six-year old like you manage to drive a stock car going over 200 MPH the way you were without seriously hurting yourself?!

Calvin: My tiger Hobbes helped me! Duh!

NASCAR Executive: Right...Now listen. Mr. France is on his way here.

(Calvin gulps)

(coming soon)